More secrets of Mr Peter Obi were unveiled – Edwin Chukwujekwu

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Read Time:2 Minute, 56 Second

APGA cannot mourn the exit of Mr Peter Obi with all these secret findings surrounding him.

1. Those who knew Peter Obi will attest to the fact that he has been a drug dealer beginning from his days as an undergraduate at UNN. He was hardly attending lectures and only managed to graduate with a third class in Philosophy after spending 12 years at the University.

2. His brother-in-law, who incidentally is one of the hirelings used by him for his nefarious drug trafficking business, is currently languishing in jail far away from London. This is the major cause of strain between Obi and his in-laws. It is on record that his closeness to Dubem Obazie was because Dubem served a jail term for drug trafficking because of Peter.

3. Obi should explain his relationship with former Military Administrator, Governor Ibim Princewill and Col Earnest Kizito Attah of Cross River State whom he helped as a conduit to fleece Cross River State government thus contributing to the underdevelopment of the state.

4. Obi should explain to Ndi Anambra the circumstances of his father’s death, which remains his best-kept secret. Before then, we can reveal that Obi’s father was drowned to death by Obi’s associates in the drug trade whom he short-changed in a business deal, prompting the mafias to kill the old man whom they drowned bounded hands and feet with bricks around his neck.

5. Given the level of insecurity in Anambra state, ”Saint” Peter Obi should explain how he expends his security vote since it is on record that he collects over 470 million nairas per month as security vote (220 million nairas from Local Government and 250 million Naira from the state FAC accounts)

6. Just as Peter Obi professes his Catholicism for political expediency, we ask him to summon the moral courage and explain to the Catholic faithful his relationship with the Olumba Olumba Obu (OOO) Cult sect, where his wife is a known member. It is also on record that Peter Obi met his wife at a nightclub in Auchi. The lady had two children from two different men -an Albino and a Ghanaian. The affirmed Catholic is yet to wed his wife in the church.

7. Obi is yet to explain the mystery behind the 250 million nairas that was found in the possession of his aides. He is yet to produce the contractor and publish the contractual agreement that stipulates that this very contractor will be paid in cash and also a reference to any other known precedents. Not even the famous late Barkin Zuwo of Kano State paid contractors in cash.

8. Obi should explain why he has continued to loot the resources of the state using his brother, Ndibe Obi, Ejike Onwusogbulu and a certain Chidi Agbapu -a Lagos based stockbroker as a conduit for money laundering while the youths in Anambra remain unemployed;

9. Obi was elected governor on the platform of APGA, and it is on record that he never convened an APGA meeting, thereby destroying the entire party structure. Obi should explain to party faithful and loyalists why he destroyed the party;

10. Obi should explain to Ndi Anambra what happened to the state local government allocations and why Anambra under Obi is the only state in Nigeria without elected local government officers in place?
In view of the foregoing, we demand his immediate resignation or face further disclosure of his criminal past and present.

Edwin Chukwujekwu
Chairman

Nonyelum Nwokoye
Secretary

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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‘Your private part has become too wide’ – Bobrisky slams Tonto Dikeh, reveals why men dump her

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Read Time:2 Minute, 59 Second

It has become obvious that the messy fight between Nollywood actress Tonto Dikeh and social media Influencer, Bobrisky isn’t coming to an end anytime soon.

Bobrisky via his Instagram page has revealed the reasons men leave Tonto Dikeh after few months of dating. 

Bob who was a former bestie of the actress made this known shortly after Tonto called him a debtor and all sorts of names.

In a retaliating post, Bobrisky revealed that men leave Tonto Dikeh’s life after a short while of dating because her private part has become too wide.

Sharing a screenshot of what an ex lover of Tonto Dikeh allegedly sent to him, Bobrisky further hinted that he is ready to go deeper and messier with Tonto Dikeh.

“Aunty tonto see ur life outside awwww he touch you because ur kpekus don too wide 😂😂😂😂😂😂. Since you love to post let go deeper 😂😂😂 my dm don full,” he captioned the screenshot.

Wothappen had reported how Tonto Dikeh reacted hours after Kemi Olunloyo exposed what Bobrisky said to her following their loggerhead.

Bobrisky had reached out to Kemi Olunloyo over Tonto Dikeh’s threats to her.
Bobrisky told Olunloyo that Tonto Dikeh can not do anything, adding that she is just trash and bullshit.

Reacting to Bobrisky’s words, Tonto Dikeh in a post shared on her Instagram page, said whenever she ex a friend, such person becomes dead and irrelevant to her.
She added that God did her bad by giving her ex-friends who are so obsessed with her and are so pained that every time her name is trending over issues, they jump on it.

She wrote: “When I ex you as a friend, you become dead to me, as in your irrelevance would be second to none. I am that friend that when I cut you off, I cut your existence out. But I don’t know why God punishes me with ex-friends who are so obsessed with me and that are so pained that every time my name is brought up they wanna jump like person wey lose em gala”

“If you were dying, and I am to comment to make you live, you know I wouldn’t do that, that’s who I am… Omo am blessed but una dey past now, make una stay there ooo.. If I still dey enter your eye talk but am still not taking you back. Period”

On his part, Bobrisky maintained that he is not reversing his statement because he knows Tonto Dikeh well and also reminded the world that the actress is still owing him.

He wrote: “You have asked me to send my account no since last year to pay ur debit till now nothing…. (5million is a lot abeg pay ur debt so i can also balance people I’m owning 😂😂😂😂. Nobody wish to go back to a friend like you, I will choose to remain friendless than to come to you. Before i forget you are still using my phone you borrowed from me ? Don’t worry how i know 😂😂😂😂 aunty borrow borrow sha change 😂😂😂cos ur own fake life pass my own 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. I can be calm but bobrisky the IDAMU ADUGBO is always ready to fight !!!!! Lastly you cannot do anything to aunty Kemi cos I’m strongly behind her. If na money let spend as see who win or loose. Have a wonderful day.”

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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While frisking, Infosys security guard collapses by the smell of the unwashed tie used non-stop for 15 years

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Read Time:2 Minute, 47 Second

Bangalore. In a shocking development, security guard Bhagwan Singh who is working in Infosys Electronics city office, collapsed today morning while doing his regular duty of frisking employees at the north gate. When he was being taken to nearby Narayan Health center, he recovered after getting sufficient clean oxygen on the way.

Faking news reporter met Bhagwan to know more about it. Bhagwan narrated the incident as happened. “Sir, I did not have a good sleep previous night as the IPL match got over very late, still I reported dot on time to complete my nine and half hours of duty. Friday mornings are usually tough as in addition to regular checking of what all employees carry to office, we need to see whether they are wearing tie or not.”

“Some kind of strange smells were coming from the ties as we could see most of them were not washed for years. In addition, quite a few of them carried the unwashed gym dress which does not make our life easier. I do not know what happened next till I got my sense back with oxygen mask on my face.”
Minutes before collapsing.

Faking news asked Infosys management why no action has been taken by tech bellwether even after one year of Swachh Bharat Abhiyan launched by Modiji. One of the senior HR employee Mr. Kamath told us on the condition of anonymity, “I am working in Infosys for last twenty five years. I have done a research paper on this. As per my findings, most of the techies who are bachelors are afraid of washing the ties themselves or giving it to a laundry as the knot would be removed in the process and after that they do not know how to knot it back.”

When we asked Mr Kamath if he knew how to knot the tie, he said, “Let me confess I am not very good at it. Luckily my wife helps me in keeping my ties clean and ready. Unlike techies I need to wear them every day as I have to meet so many clients, vendors on regular basis.”

Mr. Kamath revealed that he gave two suggestions as part of his final report to higher management. “How to knot the tie should be a compulsory course as part of training curriculum and like fire drill, this should be repeated every quarter. Second, during campus placement and off campus recruitments, the interviewer should ask and check whether the job aspirant knows how to knot the tie.”

Infosys security guards association have requested Mr. Vishal Sikka to look in to the matter on urgent basis so that in future no one suffers like Bhagwan Singh. However they want wearing tie should remain compulsory as this HR policy was initiated by none other than Mr. Narayan Murthy.

Till a long term solution is found they have asked for tie sensors on the lines of alcohol sensors that traffic police use so that they do not have to go too close to the employee. As there is nothing of the sort of tie sensors readily available in the market, Infosys has assigned few IITians whom it has recruited in campus placement to work on this asap and if makes sense file a patent in this regard.

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Do Northampton next, ISIS vandals urged

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Read Time:1 Minute, 55 Second

Terrorist vandals ISIS have received a request to leave the world’s beautiful and ancient cities alone, and focus on the hideous modern town of Northampton instead.

Northampton Council worker, Mark Scales said, “Seriously, fill your boots.”

“We’ll all nip out to Kettering for the day and you can smash the shit out of whatever takes your fancy.”

“We’ll even pick up the tab afterwards. Eleven quid should do the trick.”

Long term Northampton resident, Eleanor Finch, said “I honestly don’t understand these people at all.”

“Why would they destroy historical landmarks such as Hatra or Nimrud when they could come here and have a whale of a time on our phone boxes?”

“They’re made of glass for God’s sake, they’re just begging to be trashed”
ISIS vandals to target Northampton

BBC News reporter and Psychotic-Dickhead expert, Trevor Watkins, said “It’s very strange, really.”

“Most criminals start with vandalism and gradually work their way up to televised beheadings, but those idiots at ISIS seem to have pulled the old switcheroo in their career plans.”

“With that kind of backwards thinking, they just might fancy a day out in the East Midlands.”

Department of Defence spokesman, Simon Williams, said “Some people might be concerned about letting a pack of psychotic thugs run wild in a town centre for an entire day, but frankly we don’t anticipate anything messier than what you’d normally see after a Northampton Town FC home defeat, which is most Saturdays.”

“Don’t tell anybody, but the actual plan is to drape a net over the whole town just as ISIS arrive, then to haul the entire town into the sky and slingshot it toward the sun.”

“That way we will deal a hefty blow to humanity’s three greatest enemies: ISIS, Northampton, and the sun.”

An ISIS spokesman said, “We’ve already sent a team to smash-up Northampton, 6 months ago.”

“They were eventually given a grant from the Arts Council, which was embarrassing for everyone, quite frankly.”

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Putin’s dog wins Crufts after favourite found poisoned

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Read Time:1 Minute, 6 Second

Vladimir Putin’s faithful Rottweiler Nikita has triumphed at Crufts amid suspicious circumstances.

Irish setter Benji was expected to sail to victory at the weekend, but pulled out at short notice after shitting the carpet.

The glossy-coated six year-old was later found dead by its owner, Simon Williams, next to a suspicious looking tin of Cesar dog food.

Williams immediately raised the alarm after Benji’s favourite squeezy toy was found to glow in the dark.

Suspecting foul play, experts ran a series of tests on the food, which turned out to be polonium and rabbit flavour, with a radioactive half-life of just over three hundred years.
Crufts poisoning

The Russian leader branded the hound’s demise as ‘despicable’ and has called for a full impartial investigation, which he will personally take charge of.

Benji was known to be an outspoken critic of Putin’s regime and barked all night when Russian tanks rolled into Crimea.

Putin has previous form when it comes to dog competitions and was criticised last year for cutting off an essential Omega 3 oil pipeline to Ukraine.

His dog Nikita will collect the award tomorrow and is described as a ‘lively bitch from Irkutsk with a good set of teeth on her’.

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Criminals reluctantly agree to reduce crime in line with police budget cuts

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Read Time:1 Minute, 21 Second

Criminals across the country have reluctantly agreed to commit fewer crimes to ease the pressure on police forces facing severe cuts to their budgets.

Police forces are facing a 5% cut in government funding in 2015/16 and more cuts after the general election, with similar reductions now demanded of criminals.

A police spokesperson said, “If we are expected to cut our budgets by 5% then we have no choice but to impose a similar reduction on the criminals we investigate.”

“None of us likes this, but unfortunately we must insist that all criminals cut their activity by at least 5% in 2015/16.”

“We’re all in the together, after all.”
Police budget cuts

Criminals have reluctantly agreed to the cuts, with some claiming its just another example of why they need their own union.

Criminal Simon Williams said, “I wasn’t happy when I heard the news, but I think it’s only fair.”

“I mean, the police are working with one hand behind their backs so the least we can do is take the odd day off over the next year or two.”

However, another criminal told us, “I tell you what, we should go on strike!”

“No crimes of any nature until the government agrees to fund the police at an acceptable level.”

Williams concluded, “If the government wants to cut the funding of the police, then where is the fun in committing crime?”

“It’s not even going to be a challenge any more.”

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Fayose Faints After Hearing Of Buhari’s Return

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Read Time:30 Second

Scenes of commotion pervaded the entire Ado-Ekiti this morning after Ekiti State Governor, Ago Fayose, fainted during a PDP rally, allegedly after hearing of General Buhari’s return.

Eye witnesses say Fayose was dancing on stage in full campaign flow, when he received a phone call. The person on the other end of the line said “Sir, Buhari is back”.

To which he yelled ” Ah, Mo gbe. Mo ti Ku oo” and fainted.

His spokesperson has released a statement saying Fayose fainted because of Malaria and stomach pain.
More on this in subsequent bulletins.

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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EU to print a trillion Euros for everyone except you

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Read Time:57 Second

The European Union has confirmed that it will print over a trillion Euros over the next two years and you won’t see a penny of it.

The process, called ‘quantitative easing’, will buy Eurozone bonds back from the open market, and you don’t own any of those, do you?

“This is what is known as ‘helicopter money’, as that’s the sort of thing people usually spend it on”, said a spokesman for the European Central Bank.

“And that’s hardly going to be you, is it?”

“We considered calling it yacht money or Ferrari money instead, but helicopters are way cooler because owning a helicopter is a guaranteed knicker-dropper.”

“Not that you’d know.”

The process, which will involve the European Central bank creating 60 billion Euros a month and handing it out to pretty much anyone who asks, except you, and is expected to last for at least 18 months – possibly longer.

The share price of champagne producers and sports car manufacturers rose sharply on the news.

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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‘Just start your own train company’ Osborne tells commuters

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Read Time:1 Minute, 18 Second

George Osborne has joined the debate surrounding the shocking state of commuter services in the south of England by telling commuters to start their own train firms.

“I recognise that there are difficulties on some of the commuter services into London,” Osborne said from the back of his tax-payer funded chauffeur-driven Jaguar.

“But this is the advantage of having a competitive market for train services; literally anyone with a can-do attitude and a complete set of rolling stock can go out and start their own train company.”

His words come in the wake of scenes of chaos at London Bridge when Southern Rail decided to halt all services at rush hour for over an hour ‘for a laugh.’

“Well, this is my point,” said the Chancellor.

“Obviously, it was a trying situation, but if it had been me, I would have marched right out of the station and set up my own train company.”

“Imagine if everyone started a train company? We’d have thousands of train companies and only the very best train companies would survive. It’s how the Market ensures excellence.”

“Anyway, trains? Nothing to do with the Government. Not any more.”

Mr Osborne then instructed is chauffeur to drive on and do his best to avoid ‘that bloody mob of plebs who spill out of Waterloo station on to the road.’

“Danger to motorists is what they are,” he said as he sped off.

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Nigel Farage faces driving charge for ‘change of emphasis’ on one-way street

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Read Time:1 Minute, 46 Second

UKIP leader and media catnip Nigel Farage was in hot water today after getting caught performing a ‘change of emphasis’ on a one-way street.

The frog-faced politico is expected to defend the charge in court as there’s bound to be at least one camera there.

Farage said “Look, it’s really simple; I was on a particular road going in a particular direction, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with tweaking one’s driving policy ever so slightly.”

“It was not a u-turn, let’s make that perfectly clear”.

However directions expert, Simon Williams said “It was a u-turn. Without question. That is the exact term one uses when someone turns around and goes in a different direction.”

“I’m happy to lend Farage a dictionary if he would like to check. It’s full of English words used by English people so I’m sure he’ll have a whale of a time with it.”
Farage U-Turn

Farage’s supporters have been quick to leap to his defence with the kind of blind faith one might expect of a terminally sick dog getting in the car to go for “a nice long walk”.

“It’s just media hype” said Barry Tomkins, “any time Farage does anything radical, honest or even just out loud, the newspapers are all over him like a rash.”

“It’s pathetic. He’s done nothing wrong.”

Traffic officer, Malcolm Davis, said “He has done something wrong. He nearly took out an entire school crossing patrol.”

“His driving style can only be described as reckless.”

UKIP MP Mark Reckless said “I resemble that. Or is it resent? I’m not sure. I’m going to borrow that dictionary once Nigel is done with it.”

Nigel Farage can avoid the three points on his license if he attends a court mandated self-awareness course.

About Post Author

Anthony Claret

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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