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Johannesburg, South Africa – An unmarked grave in south Africa's notorious Victor Verster prison is Mandela's last resting place according to a NATO file on the political activist's former wife Winnie.
The report describes how a furious fight broke out during a conjugal visit from which Mandela never recovered, prompting terrified South African security service officials to substitute a doppelgänger lookalike to take over the captive's ID and persona.
A series of hush-hush deals with agencies such as the CIA, KGB and the UK's M16 then saw a 'clone' from Robben Island's F wing fast-tracked to deliver a heart-warming and immensely heroic narrative promoting the newly-released 'Mandela' into international celebrity status.
And the rest, as they say, is hystery.
Commenting on the report's findings a spokesperson for the international Bilderberg Group of shadowy stringpullers said the allegations 'are outrageous' – despite the huge amount of DNA data supporting NATO's claims .
The grounds of Sir Mark Thatcher's former Constantia, Cape Town mansion, 'Done Tootin', may now be dug over for additional clues.