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updated 12:05 AM EEST, Sep 21, 2014

Sarah Palin Claims Jesus Celebrated Easter

  • Written by Agency Reporter
  • Published in North America
Sarah PalinSarah Palin claimed today that Jesus Christ celebrated Easter during his time on Earth.
 
In an interview with Fox and Friends this morning, the former Alaska governor promoted her new book about the left's "war on Christmas" and argued that all Christian holidays should return to the traditional versions practiced by Jesus.
 
"It makes me so gosh darn angry," Palin explained, "The liberal left in this country has targeted Christian holidays and is trying to secularize them right out of existence.
 
"When Jesus celebrated Easter with his disciples there were no Easter Bunnies or egg hunts. There were no Easter sales at department stores or parades in the street. Easter was a special time of prayer and Christian activism.
 
"Jesus would gather all the townspeople around and would listen to their stories about the meaning of Easter in their lives. Then he would teach them how to love one-another, how to protest Roman abortion clinics and how to properly convert homosexuals.
 
"You can't even do things like that these days without getting called out by some wacko left-wing "human rights" group. Christians had more freedom under Roman rule than we do now in our own country! We need to return Easter back to the way it was when Jesus was alive."
 
Gospel of Palin 
Easter is a Christian holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after he was crucified by the Romans in the 1st century AD. It is the most important holiday for Eastern and Orthodox christians, and also has great significance in the West.
 
Because Easter is a celebration of Jesus's resurrection from the dead, it is highly unlikely that he celebrated the holiday before his death. Its first recorded instance is sometime in the mid 2nd century. This seemingly obvious fact was not lost on the Fox and Friends team, who instantly challenged Palin's assertions.
 
"Sarah, you know that we love you," started co-host Brian Kilmeade, "And I can understand if you think Christian holidays have become too secular and you want to return to the days of the early church. But you have to know that Jesus never celebrated Easter right? I mean you have to know that. What do you think Easter celebrates?"
 
"Well Brian Easter celebrates you know, sticking it to all the liberal lefties out there who want to be taking our guns and our freedom," Palin responded, "It celebrates the rights of the unborn and the right to religious freedom, to not have government come in and tell you who to believe in and who not to -"
 
"It celebrates the death and resurrection of Jesus," Kilmeade interrupted, "It celebrates his death and resurrection from the dead. Now Sarah, tell me how can Jesus celebrate his own death before he died?"
 
Palin stared blankly into the screen for about 15 seconds, before co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck cut to commercial.
 

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