Susan Forsythe, a moron from Scunthorpe, bought Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 for her 10 year-old son after he said, “It’s not violent, mum; it’s fine, stop being such a bitch”.
Forsythe said “I think it’s disgraceful that a video game company has made a game for grown-ups and then allowed me, a grown-up, to purchase it.”
“There were absolutely no clues as to what this game is really like, apart from the picture of the soldier on the front, the pictures of all the guns on the back, and the various warnings about strong violence.”
“But it shouldn’t be down to me to read all that.”
“I assumed it would be fine for my boy because he asked for it, and all children are perfect and couldn’t possibly enjoy horrible things.”
“Now I’m starting to wonder if the little shit actually did burn down the garden shed.”
Simon Williams, a spokesperson for the game’s publisher, said “There really is only so much we can do.”
“We’ve done warning labels, age-ratings and boxes that make it pretty clear that our game is all about shooting people in the face.”
“Sadly, and to my lasting regret, we can’t put a sign on the box that says ‘don’t buy this for your child, you fucking moron’.”
