Like leprosy, it is gradually eating into marriages and desecrating the sacred institution of matrimony. Some spouses are not finding it funny and are grumbling about their spouses’ “fetish habits,” “strange pleasures,” “unusual habits” and “irresponsible desires.” It is generally known and referred to as anal sex, but that is no sex to me, so I am going to refer to it as anal penetration throughout the column today. I am specifically talking about anal penetration in marriages (between male and female). Some couples are very “adventurous” and want to incorporate all kinds of crazy and kinky stuff and extremes into their sex lives. Sometimes only one party wants to test uncharted territories; the uninterested party is our person of interest today.
Advocates of anal penetration say it is “indisputable that there is an erogenous zone in the anus of both males and females.” This may be true, but God created many other erogenous zones in both male and female. They are there in the vagina, penis, scrotum, breasts, buttocks, ears, lips, mouth, palms, thighs and many other areas. These are more than enough for couples to get to the zenith of sexual ecstasy. Anal penetration reminds me of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. God created many fruits for Adam and Eve to eat, but warned them not to eat the fruits of the tree at the centre of the garden. God has created many erogenous zones we can legitimately get pleasure from. The anus is not one of them; it is meant to expel waste. It is this kind of behavior (eating forbidden fruits) that got Adam and Eve into trouble.
Anal penetration is fraught with dangers and not straight forward like vaginal penetration. The anus does not self-lubricate (an essential part of pleasurable sex) like the vagina. Penetration can therefore tear the tissue inside the anus, because it is not as well protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus does not have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. This can result in the spread of HIV virus and other sexually transmitted infections.
In addition, the anus is naturally designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens when we are not defecating. Repetitive penetration may lead to weakening of the anal muscle, making it difficult to hold in feces when you are hard pressed, especially when you are passing watery stool. You would have noticed the increasing presence of adult diapers on super markets shelves. Apart from some sick people and senior citizens, people whose anus malfunction as a result of repeated penetration use adult diapers to prevent feces leakage getting to their clothes.
The influence of pornography, where heterogeneous sex includes anal penetration, might be one of the reasons for increase of the practice in marriages. Couples copy what they watch forgetting that it is make-believe not reality. Incidentally, the anus is crawling with bacteria harmless within their natural habitat, but deadly if transferred to the vagina or other vulnerable parts of the body. When the male in the film moves the penis straight from the vagina to the anus and then the woman’s mouth and you assume that is how it works in real life, you are inviting infections, infertility and in extreme cases, cancer. Specifically, engaging in sex after anal penetration can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections. Remember the warning when watching wrestling: do not copy or try these (what you are watching) at home.
There is also no place for quickies or “sharp-sharp” in anal penetration. Quickies are part and parcel of the sex life of busy couples and couples raising young children. It is easy because it is natural and the sex organs, especially the naturally lubricating vagina, can accommodate the spontaneity. Not so for anal penetration. Quickies can lead to excruciating pain and damage to the anus. Just imagine trying to expel very hard feces speedily or by force and you will have an idea of the pain and damage we are talking about here.
I always concede that adults have the prerogative to live their lives the way they want, the concern here is the spouse who is not interested in anal penetration? For instance, if the wife decides to quit such a marriage because of that act, should it be regarded as divorce and the woman prevented from remarrying in the church? Are such aberrations not enough grounds to annul such marriages, if the other party is unwilling to change? When the church crafted marital vows, anal penetration certainly was not in contemplation, so “for better for worse”, “to love and to cherish till death do us part” cannot apply in this circumstance.
As God’s children, when the interest of a spouse comes in conflict with God’s, God’s should prevail. It is not always so because of our human weaknesses, but spouses should stand their grounds in extreme cases. Why will spouses accede to outrageously ungodly requests? The marriage no dey scatter? No spouse should be forced into anal penetration. Even those who condone the act concede that nobody should be pressured into anal penetration, if he/she is not comfortable with it. They also say it is painful and not as pleasurable as sex, so what is this madness all about? Why do we profess to love our spouses and at the same do things that endanger their lives? Unbelievable “murders” go on in matrimony and we justify them by claiming we are legally married. Sometimes we blackmail our spouses into consenting to these “murders.”
Christian couples involved in anal penetration should refrain and go for counseling and deliverance. It has no place in a Christian marriage and the Bible is very clear on it.