How to deal with your anger and temper

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angrywomanI believe the Bible teaches 4 steps to deal with our anger and the process is summarized by four words: Confess it, Consider its consequences, control it and counteract it with acts of kindness Let’s look more closely at these 4 steps, especially if you are prone to stubborn anger and fits of temper.

The first step is to realize you have a problem and you want to get rid of it!  You are tired and fed up with what it is doing to you and to those around you whom you love and care about.
No more excuses, like “Well, it runs in my family”…
or “That’s just the way I am”……
Or “My temper only lasts a little while”…
Yes, and so did that tornado a little while back and there still cleaning up from the devastation it left!
Admit it is a sin and confess it to the Lord!
Ask the Lord to forgive you and ask His help to overcome it as you rely on the Holy Spirit to help you.  
If you are not born-again, you need to be now, otherwise there is nothing more that can be done to help you.  If you are unsaved, your anger is eventually going to cause destruction.

Identify what it is that causes you to get angry and be on guard for these ’causes’….prepare for them…. Stay away from such ‘catalysts’ if you must….
I know that when I’m tired is not a good time for my wife and I to discuss things….I ashamed to admit that I’m a little more ‘grouchy’ and ‘prone to get upset’ over little things when I’m tired…so I have learned over the years to see it coming…and I’ve learned to avoid situations that could lead to arguments when I’m tired or exhausted, especially late at night.  
You too, can look for areas that have caused you trouble in the past….and be prepared for them…..avoid them or plan to keep your mouth shut and discuss the matter at a later time!
Also, not only consider the causes, but consider the consequences of uncontrolled anger.
We have seen what stubborn anger can do… We have seen what a fit of rage and temper can do…do we want to risk the consequences?  Is it really worth it?
By the way, do you realize if you are a ‘hot-head’…your children will learn that from you…..and they will react the same way you do when they face situations in life….Why?  Because they have watched you and learned it from you!

The Bible says in Psalms 37:8
” Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.”
Now My Friend, if the Bible commands us to ‘cease’ from anger…then we certainly must be able to do just that, right?
When you become angry, STOP!
Consider the consequences.  
Keep your mouth shut!
Remember what Ephesians 4:29 said,
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

Wonder why the Lord put those instructions right in here when He is talking about controlling our anger?
Our mouths are usually what get us in trouble when we’re angry!
Washington Irving said, “The only edged tool that gets sharper with use…is the tongue..”
How true.
Pray and ask the Lord to help right then!  Quote a particular Bible verse, such as Ephesians 4:26,27 and don’t ‘give place to the devil”!   
Resist the devil and he will flee from you, James 4:7 says…
And…you must resist him with God’s Word!


Notice what Ephesians 4:32 says,
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Now why did the Lord put that instruction here?  
My friend, the quickest way to dispel anger and hard feelings is to return an act of kindness.  
The Bible in Romans 12:20 calls it ‘heaping coals of fire upon his head”…
Romans 12:20 “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. 21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”

That verse used to confuse me until I understood what it meant.
One elderly lady went to her pastor for advice because she could not get along with her husband and the pastor quoted this verse to the lady and said, “Have you tried heaping coals of fire upon his head?”  She replied no that she had not, but she had thrown scalding water upon him a time or two!
To understand what this verse is saying, we must go back to Egyptian customs in Bible days.  If a person had done someone wrong, and he realized it later, he would express his shame for the deed by walking around publicly with a pan of hot coals on his head….
If we return an act of kindness to someone who is angry with us….instead of trying get revenge and get back at them…..It will make them ashamed…and possibly could win you a friend!
One preacher told the story that illustrates this point.  He was going to the McDonald’s Drive thru and accidentally cut a lady off.
She flew off the handle right then and there!  She rolled down the window and began screaming at the preacher…in front of everybody….and honking her horn…..and making obscene gestures….He said it was really a “Multi-media Presentation”!
As he was paying for his order in the drive thru, he noticed that the upset lady was still in line right behind him.  He told the cashier at the window, that he wanted to PAY for the lady’s bill behind him in line.  The cashier in astonishment told him the amount and he paid it, and pulled up and waited to see the lady’s reaction.
Well, it was priceless, as you could well imagine.
My friend, if we return kindness to those who have done us wrong and perhaps made us angry….it can have tremendous results!

Consider the consequences.  Don’t let the devil advance you to those six stages of anger, because you know you will regret it later.
Realize your Christian testimony is at stake.  Your reputation is at stake.  Your marriage and family is at stake.  Friendships are at stake.
With God’s help you can control your anger.  The Holy Spirit can help you.  When you fail, get back up and ask God’s help again…and again.   Get busy serving the Lord.   Keep resisting the devil with God’s Word and He will flee from you.
If you are not born-again, you need to be saved….before anger destroys you and everything around you.  The Bible says in Romans 10:13,
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
My friend, that means you!  As you realize your lost and sinful condition, won’t you call upon Christ to save you as you trust His shed blood at Calvary to wash away your sins?

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