8 reasons why your man hates to wear condoms

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Read Time:3 Minute, 42 Second

 Lots of ladies out there still face the challenge of having to argue with their man each time it's time to have sex, simply because he wouldn't use a condom.

Despite the worldwide campaign for people to engage in safe sex and avoid contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) or having unwanted pregnancies, a lot of guy still hate the idea of wearing condoms.

Various studies has shown that using protection during sex does not reduce the enjoyment or spoil the fun, as some guys claim.

Still, lots of ladies out there still face the challenge of having to argue with their man each time it's time to have sex, simply because he wouldn't use a condom.

Ever found yourself in this fix? Why doesn't your man want to do the right thing?

Read on and find out eight reasons why he's never excited about the idea of wearing condoms, and how you can tackle his lame excuses:

  1.  He can't find condoms that fit: According to quora.com, 30 percent to 35 percent of men require a smaller than standard or more tailored-fit condom while half of men require a medium or standard condom. Medium-sized condoms are the most readily available and are found in most stores, handed out for free in clinics and passed out at universities. Only 15 percent to 20 percent of men require a larger condom, which means 80-85% of men do not actually need that glorified Magnum.

  2.  He's doesn't know how to find the right condom: With search engines like Google and Yahoo, there are tons of information out there on just about anything, that includes tips on how to find the right condom. If your man is unsure what size to buy, tell him to check sites like condom-sizes.org and luckybloke.com to help him find the perfect match for his preference.

  3. He thinks condoms reduce pleasure: One of the major reasons why men refuse to wear condoms is that they think it doesn't have the same pleasurable sensation as going bare. While this may be true for some men, it's still not an excuse to skip wearing a condom. Brands like Durex Natural Feeling Lubricated Condoms and Trojan Bareskin offer you and your lover the protection you need without compromising pleasure.

 4.  He thinks it's an interruption: For some guys, taking a few seconds off to put on a condom when you two are hot and heavy is just an unnecessary interruption, which could deflate the mood. But understand this – wearing a condom not only prevents unwanted pregnancy, it also protects you from STDs which can ruin your life. If your man cares about you and your health, as well as his, he would gladly do what is necessary to ensure that you two are safe.

 5.  He believes he's too well-endowed: Some dudes believe that because they're well-endowed, they can't wear a condom. This is just another lame excuse. If you and your partner just can't keep you hands off each other Trojan Magnum XL, Trustex, and Atlas all provide larger sizes that are meant to comfortably fit your man’s deluxe package.

 6.  He feels comfortable with you: Sometimes, guys will forgo using condoms if they feel comfortable enough or feel like they know their partner's track record. Truth is, this is just another excuse. Even some married couples use condoms for the life of their marriage as a form of birth control and/or other reasons.

  7. He thinks you're 'clean' enough: That a person appears clean doesn't mean a condom should be deleted from the mix. STDs like HIV, HPV, chlamydia and herpes can go years without showing any tell-tale signs. It's never a good idea to assume someone doesn't have a sexually transmitted disease based on looks alone.

 8.  He doesn't have a condom: Not all guys always have condoms handy, but there's nothing wrong with you storing a stash in your purse or nightstand. Believe me, it's mainly for your own safety.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Man Beats Woman Blue-Black Over Complimentary Card

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Read Time:1 Minute, 16 Second

A Man named Alhaji Kayode B Fashola has been accused of beating his wife blue-black. According to someone in the know who reported this on her Facebook page, Alhaji Fashola is alleged to be a smoker, a drunk and a chronic womaniser who however does not want to see any man near his wife.

According to the Facebook report, on this fateful day her husband walked up to her and found a complimentary card on her table and that was how the history of her skin (as seen in the photo above) changed to what you see now. He allegedly locked the door, beat her blue-black to his satisfaction before letting her out. Below is part of what the poster wrote on her Facebook page. I had to remove the accused man’s personal details.

I have decided to post this on Facebook so that people know the kind of person he is and for the public to be careful. The woman in the picture is his legally married second wife.

Her offence is that he found a complimentary card on her table. And without asking questions, he locked the door and almost beat her to death. Again I must warn the public that this man is not only a wife beater, he is a smoker, a drunk, extremely jealous and a chronic womaniser. He boasted that he is above the law in Lagos by virtue of his position but we all know that no one is above God.

 

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Photos: Woman allegedly stabs husband to death at their home in Bayelsa

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Read Time:34 Second

According to their friends, Henry Gagariga was allegedly stabbed to death by his wife Victoria Ambakaderimo (both pictured) around 11pm last night February 4th after a quarrel at their home in Akenfa, Bayelsa state.

Victoria allegedly stabbed him in the throat.  Their friends say it's not the first time she'd stab him but this time, he lost his life. She is currently being held at Akenfa police station in Bayelsa state over his murder. Her friends say they've not been allowed to see her to talk to her and find out what happened.

 more to come. see photos of late Henry  below..  

 

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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6 kinds of friends who shouldn’t be your bridesmaid

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Read Time:3 Minute, 48 Second

 

Since they’ll spending most of the day with you, it is important that you choose people who you would be comfortable to be with for several hours without losing your temper.

As a bride, your bridesmaids are your assistants on your wedding day, and they are there to help you look and feel pretty as you start your journey into marital life.

Since they’ll spending most of the day with you, it is important that you choose people who you would be comfortable to be with for several hours without losing your temper.

In selecting your bridesmaids, there are 6 kinds of friends you should beware of or else, they will ruin your big day!

    The Drama Queen: We all have that one friend you always wants to be the centre of attention. She talks louder than everyone else, and always has something to say about somebody or something. This kind of friend will surely make you miserable, especially when choosing dress styles of during fittings. She will always want everyone to dance to her tune, and eventually she will take it upon herself to plan your wedding. It would really make sense for you to drop this kind of girl from your list of prospective bridesmaids or will have to pay dearly for choosing her.

    The Gossip: She knows everything about everyone (or so she says). She tells it all and holds nothing back. This kind of friend will stir trouble in midst of your other friends, with her half-truths and unsolicited pieces of advice. If you know any of your friends who fits perfectly with this description, please do yourself a favour and don’t add her to your bridal train.

    The Ring Leader: If you’re not the ring leader among your ‘committee of friends,’ then it has to be someone else. How do spot her? She is bossy and always wants to be in charge. Unlike the Drama Queen, she’s quiet but very calculating. If things don’t go her way, she will create a league of loyal followers within the group who will oppose you and generally make your life difficult. The Ring Leader would make a suggestion, and if you don’t agree, she will throw it open for a vote – and with the ‘majority’ behind her, you will surely lose. If you are wise, you would strike this one off your list quickly.

    The Green-Eyed Monster: This one is the perpetual ‘hater’ – nobody and nothing is good enough. Jealousy oozes from every pore in her body. Everything is a competition to her. This type of friend will try to outdo you on your wedding day. She will be the one to opt for a different design from the agreed bridesmaid dress style, just so she could alter hers till she’s all but naked, drawing everyone’s attention to her. In fact, she just can’t be outdone and that is something you should be worried about. Don’t choose her!

    The Mother Hen: While this one is not exactly bossy, she is always armed with words of wisdom for you even when they are irrelevant to the matter at hand. While she might be very useful when it comes to rallying the girls and pushing them to get things done; she can sometimes overestimate her importance to the extent of creating an agenda which you may be forced to follow against your will, as everyone now looks up to her for directions on what to do next instead of asking you. I’m sure you know what to do with this one.

    The Complainer: This one is worse than all the rest. Everything is a problem to her – the dress colour, the choice of shoes, the proposed hairstyle, the size of the fascinators, and everything else. Nothing is right in her eyes. This one would tell you point blank that your wedding dress is too shabby or drab. She doesn’t care about anybody’s feelings. Not only would she make you miserable, but everybody would also hate you for including her in the group. Do yourself a favour and let her be.

Which other kind of friend do you think should not make it to bridesmaids list? Share your answers with me in the comments!

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Wife’s Message To Husband Sparks Tears Of Joy

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Read Time:1 Minute, 22 Second

Valentine's Day is around the corner. The history of the holiday is a bit unclear, but we know that Pope Gelasius I, circa year 496, dedicated February 14th to be St. Valetine's Day. There were, however, more than one St. Valentines during that time period and historians are unsure as to which saint is being celebrated. According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, there were three saints by that name: one in Rome, another in Terni, and one about whom we have very little information. What's remarkable about the uncertainty is that it's been said that all three Valentines were martyred on February 14th. 

By the 18th Century, the holiday had evolved and became known for gift-giving and exchanging handmade cards. This tradition didn't catch on in the United States until the late 19th Century, when someone recognized the untapped potential of producing and selling cards. Nowadays, the holiday is incredibly popular and is known for romance, chocolate, flowers, and of course – cards.

For this Valentine's Day, Hallmark, the largest producer of greeting cards in the United States, launched the 'Put Your Heart To Paper' campaign, which features stories of real-life couples and their stories of life, love, and togetherness. The clip below includes the tale of Hiram and Felicita, who've been married for 15 years. 

What did you think of their story? How will you express your feelings this Valentine's Day? Leave us a comment down below or on Facebook, and be sure to share this video with your family and friends!

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Should married people keep their single friends close?

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Read Time:7 Minute, 20 Second

Setting boundaries. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? Esther Oluka talked to Phillip Luswata, an actor, and Crystal Newman Kavule, a radio personality, and they shared their thoughts on whether it is necessary to abandon your single friends once you get married.

What is your understanding of marriage?
Marriage is a stretching of friendship. It is a response to the pulls of nature, including loneliness. It is the reason you will find even confessed bachelors marrying while in their late 40s. They cannot stand to see most of their age mates wedded and having children while they stay single

Can single friends be bad influence on their married friends?

The reality is that the behaviour of single individuals is different from that of married people. Can single friends be bad influence on their married friends? I do not think so. It is very difficult because married people have different priorities from singles. A married woman, for instance, knows that her responsibility after work is to go back home to tend to her husband and children.
On the other hand, a single woman may decide to do whatever she wants after work. Probably go out with friends to see a movie or to the bar for a drink. Even if a married woman went out with single friends, at some point you find that she will excuse herself to go back home. As you can see therefore, married people live totally divergent lives, meaning that singles do rarely have a bad influence on them. Problems only set in if a married person is immature and has failed to realise that the single person they are hanging out with is different from them.

Do you think that married couples cease having anything in common with their single friends?

Married people should know that after tying the knot, there are single friends they will lose because they no longer share anything in common with them because naturally, they will cease being similar. Married people sometimes prefer to hang out with other married individuals whom they want to hold the same kind of conversations with, for instance, talk about children or family developments. On the other hand, if a married individual shared this kind of conversation with a single person, they might look at the subject as boring or fail to understand their frustrations. In case you realise that you no longer share the same kind of interests with your single friends, it is better to at times do away with them for the sake of peace of mind.

For those interested in keeping their single friends, how should they do it?

Definitely inviting them for family occasions and gatherings is the way to do it. The problem probably sets in when one fails to blend in and feels out of place.

Should married people discuss their marital issues with their single friends?

I do not think it is such a good idea. If one is having issues in their marriage, they should probably talk to another married couple because the kind of lifestyle they share is the same. The moment you begin dumping marital problems on your single friends, chances are that they might share it with other singles.

Do single friends get jealous of their married friends?

Of course they do at a certain point because they feel that they are being left behind, until the time they also get married.

Are you married?

Yes, I am a married father of three children. This is my sixth year of marriage.

And how was your relationship with your single friends after tying the knot?

It did not change much because most of my single friends, who happen to be around my age bracket, also have children, despite not being married. Therefore, it is easy for me to identify with them. For instance, if I am paying school fees, they will also be doing the same thing.

Do you sometimes miss being single?
No, I do not miss being single. No one wants to be alone in a house minus a wife and children at my age, (41 years). It is the worst thing that can happen to a man. Most of one’s peers are married with established families at this age. And when they have functions, they will hardly invite you because they will feel that you will always feel out of place.

How have your single friends had a positive impact on you?
Most of them are involved in different developmental projects which I am also motivated to partake at a certain time in my life.

What would you want to tell a single person out there looking at getting married some day?

Marriage is a beautiful thing, although it does not always come smooth just like the way you see a rose. As much as it is beautiful, it still does have thorns. In order to make a marriage work, all that one needs to do is give it the right kind of ingredients.

What is your understanding of marriage?
Marriage is a serious commitment and journey that two people take for various reasons, including forming a strong partnership and having children.

How long have you been married?
Almost 10 years now.

How were you relating with your single friends soon after you got married?
Among my close group of friends, I was actually one of the first to settle down. Shortly afterwards, I had my first child. Despite these changes in my life, my friends understood that my priorities had now shifted to family and not them. Soon afterwards, some of them jumped onto the same bandwagon and got married as well.

Can single friends be bad influence to their married friends?
I agree to a certain extent. Some friends can actually be bad influence to a married woman. Just imagine you are married but often hanging out with your single friends at a bar, what would happen? I feel that if your single friends do not bring such a positive influence in your life, it is better to let them go.

Do you sometimes miss being single?
I think it is only natural that every married person does at some point in their lives. For instance, there are moments I would wish to travel with my single friends for a trip somewhere but cannot because of family engagements.

How should a woman deal with a single friend who was against the marriage from the beginning?
Once you have gotten married, they have to accept your partner and embrace the two of you as a couple. If someone cannot, it is better to then terminate the friendship. Just imagine spending time with a single friend who is often speaking ill of your partner. It is not good for one’s marriage.

Should married women discuss marital issues with their single friends?
Married women ought to be very careful with what they discuss with their single friends. If one decides to share a problem with them, it should then be minor. If the problem is a very serious one, it should not be shared with single friends because sometimes telling them will just make them dislike your partner even more.
Single friends, on the other hand, may not really understand the institution of marriage in that they may not keep whatever you have told them as confidential. They will go and tell other people about your marital problems.
That is why I would advise that in case one is having very tough times in their marriage, they should at least talk to an older trusted family member, such as a sister or an aunt rather than a single friend.
What positive impact have your single friends had on you?
Life sometimes becomes predictable when one gets married as one has to go through the same routine over and over again. So, sometimes my single friends come in to break the monotony of this lifestyle. We go out to different hangouts and have fun.

What advice do you have for all the single women planning on getting married in the near future?
Marriage is a commitment that should be taken seriously and not lightly. They should also know that once they are in that institution, there are going to be some serious tough times. Marriage is not all that glossy and wonderful as it might look because the involved parties have totally different backgrounds and personalities which each one has to adopt and adjust to. Despite this, however, if you always work hard on your marriage, you can always overcome any kind of obstacle you meet along the way.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Nigerian transgender man talks about the joy & danger of living his truth

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Read Time:4 Minute, 42 Second

He used to be a woman. Born in Lagos Nigeria. Now living in the US as Rizi Xavier Timane, a man. In an interview with Ebony, he reflects on his journey to living his truth, and the burden that comes with doing it in a country (US) that doesn't value 'Black men'. I was born in Lagos, Nigeria, and I was assigned the female gender at birth. Both of these facts amounted to one thing: I had no power, no respect, and no privilege, nor would I have much of any of these throughout my life. Add in that I came from a less than wealthy family and was, for all intents and purposes, a lesbian, and I became a truly invisible human being; when I wasn’t being ridiculed or abused, I basically did not exist.

I say "for all intents and purposes" because for as long as I can remember, I never thought of myself as a girl. Though I didn’t know what to call it as a young child—I had no idea there even was a name for what I felt until I was eight years old, when two friends saw a transgender person on an American talk show and told me about it—I knew I was different. I felt how the boys I knew looked: masculine and tough, not feminine and delicate like my girl friends. I preferred pants to dresses, speaking my mind over being quiet and demure, and roughhousing in the dirt was infinitely more compelling playing dress-up with my mother’s clothes.

Still, this gave me no status in the male-driven, patriarchal Nigerian society. And I grew up thinking this was my station in life: to be misunderstood and miserable, trapped in a body I did not feel was my own and stuck in a country that was homophobic, transphobic, sexist, and hyper-religious. When I told my family about how I felt, they told me to keep quiet. My mother and her church friends repeatedly performed exorcisms on me, trying to rid me of the demons that had made me what I was.

Every day between the ages of eight and twelve, I got down on my knees and prayed that God would change me into the boy I knew I was inside. When that didn’t work, I tried running away from how I felt, turning later in life to drugs and alcohol and battling severe depression along with my gender dysphoria. I resigned myself to identifying as a Black lesbian for the rest of my life and to all the cultural bias and discrimination that comes with it, particularly in my country of origin, where being gay or lesbian can lead to imprisonment.

Eventually, through a long and difficult process of self-realization, I came to see that I did have some choice in the matter of how I presented my gender identity to the world. That I wasn’t tied to that female body and its attendant dearth of cultural value. Today, after twenty surgical procedures plus ongoing hormonal treatments, I can proudly say that I am completely male inside and out. No longer am I the scared child living in an oppressive nation or the adult going through the motions in a life that was not my own. I am now a heterosexual man living in the United States and enjoying all the societal respect and privilege I’d missed out on for so long, when I was not able to express my authentic self.

As a man, I enjoy a higher status than I did when I lived as a woman—people listen to me when I speak and automatically value my opinions; I no longer feel meek and subservient, as I believed I was supposed to be. Of course, there are other challenges now that I am living in my truth. As a Black man, however, I constantly feel like I have a target on my back–like I am the focal point of America’s most vehement hatred right now. I know that I could lose this life I’ve worked so hard to build in an instant—another Michael Brown, another John Crawford, another Eric Garner. Black teen boys are twenty-one times more likely than their White peers to be killed by police and the stats aren't much better when you turn 21. One in three of us can expect to go to prison in our lifetime. Whenever I leave my house now, my wife reminds me to keep both hands on the steering wheel if a cop pulls me over, so he doesn’t think I’m reaching for a gun. While I don't dismiss the tragic cases of police violence against Black women, it's not lost on me that she didn't say this when I presented as a woman.

Overall I feel that much of my struggle as a transgender individual is behind me. But as a Black man, my journey has just begun. This is not exactly the life I signed up for. Not that I thought living as a man would be one nonstop party, but I guess we don’t realize how serious a situation can be until we live through it. Still, I'm grateful; despite the trials of being a Black male in America, I am finally comfortable in my skin, and that alone brings me a sense of personal power.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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In Secondary School, I Was Molested By A Priest And Physically Abused In The University – Lola Omotayo

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Read Time:3 Minute, 34 Second

 Lola Omotayo recently revealed at the Kinabuti Dare2Dream Project in Lagos a secret part of her life to help out young girls at the project.Lola revealed that when she was in her secondary school days, she was molested by a priest and she could not tell anyone in her family.She said that the situation repeated itself in a former relationship before finally meeting Peter of P-Square and then getting married.
Excerpts of her speech below…

“You shouldn’t let your past determine what your destiny will be, we all have our past whether good or bad or makes us unhappy, we all had a life that we lived that we are not happy about, you shouldn’t let it bother you from succeeding.When I was a young girl in my early teens in high school, I was molested by a catholic priest, i blamed myself, i didn’t tell anyone because i was ashamed, couldn’t tell anyone cos i felt everyone would blame me, so i carried on the guilt and bitterness with me for years. I was filled with hate and i became a angry person, i was rebellious, i didn’t want to listen to anybody…and because i wanted to be expelled from school to avoid seeing this person, i would do so many terrible things, everything around me was just so negative, i felt i wasn’t good enough….

Anyway i moved on to the university, met the love of my life and i’m like, okay this guy is cool, he loves me…and then he started to abuse me….i was beaten black and blue all the time, in front of friends, in public and at a point i felt, you know what I am not worthy enough, there is nothing about me that is nice, nobody loves me but i hid this from my family….i felt like a loser..so it was hard for me to focus..so one day i woke up and said i am going to change my story and i dumped that person, focus on my education and decided to be serious and be something….i decided to get a job and go to school full time in America…I worked hard…my parents were sending me money cos I didn’t tell them i was working but i was working because i wanted to be independent…

I didn’t want to depend on any man or on my parents even though they would have done anything for me…so i did all sorts of job, i was a make up artiste, i worked in a cafe, school library, i did so many things and i didn’t realise that these jobs were building me up as a person, building my resume, my confidence….people began to like me because i was adding value to their lives….at work i was excellent and so was i in school and that built me as a strong woman…and at some point, i sought counseling to get over my molestation issues where i was made to see reasons why i wasn’t at fault cos i was a child then…today I am accomplished.

You can be whatever woman you want to be but you have to believe in yourself, if they reject you today, it doesn’t mean you should let your dreams die, you have something unique about you.Look at my husband, when i met him peeps were like what are you doing with him, he has nothing but i stood my ground and choose to stick with him cos he had a dream. He and his twin brother did not let their dream die, they worked hard..look at them today! I stuck by him cos he had focus and drive and today i am happy, i have a good life, we are happy and we have got a beautiful family. No one can make you a loser.”

Lola is married to Peter Okoye of the P-square fame, they have two kids together.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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The indecent methods some men use to ravish their dates!

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Read Time:6 Minute, 43 Second

There can be nothing more embarrassing than one of your husband’s friends, and a good family friend, witness your man’s weakness for the bottle. Seki, a usually bubbly mother of two is a social friend I enjoy touching base with from time to time. She’s always struck me as a discontent woman in spite of her happy disposition. In one of our usual chin-wags, she let it slip that her husband was a chronic alcoholic. “Better than a wife-batterer, I tried to console her.

But she quickly reminded me that most violent men were at their worst when they’d too much to drink. She’d confessed that Arthur, her husband, had always loved a tipple in their courting days: “And I was his good companion,” she continued. “We were all young and carefree then. It is just that, as I and all our friends grew older and settled down, Arthur didn’t want to.

“On the two occasions I was pregnant, he’d happily left me alone at home so he could do the round of the clubs. That was when I realised just what alcohol meant to him…” She finally had to face the fact that Arthur was a now a chronic alcoholic when he blew their house-rent on booze. “The landlord kept on pestering us to pay and I was livid,” she said. “I felt sorry for him in the end because he was genuinely contrite. He managed to raise the money but that left pretty little for the festive periods and the get-together we had planned, so we invited a few friends over and asked them to bring whatever items they wanted to contribute to the party. Most of them brought booze and the way Arthur eyed the bottles, he looked like a kid in a candy bar! A few hours later, he was urging everybody to drink and be merry as he started on his first drink.

“The problem was that whilst others sipped theirs, he gulped his. By the time the last but one guest left, he was crashed out unconscious on the sofa. Amechi, the only guest left and a childhood friend of his looked embarrassed as he watched Arthur lying undignifying on the sofa, snoring. ‘I tried to warn him to slow down but he wouldn’t listen’, he said. ‘How have you put up with him all these years? he asked. I shrugged. It was none of his business and I wasn’t ready to discuss my matrimonial problems with any of Arthur’s friends.

“But Amechi hung around to help me clear up. As I started stashing mugs and plates in the sink, he came and stood behind me. He was so close I couldn’t even turn round ‘if I were married to a lovely girl like you, I wouldn’t swap her for a bottle of beer, not to talk of falling asleep on you’. I couldn’t say a word as I felt his breath on my neck, then we were in each others’ arms, kissing. Guiltily, I realised where I was and what I was doing—I was kissing my husband’s childhood friend with him just a room away. But we’d both reached a point of no return. Sensing the urgency of the moment, he lifted me up onto the kitchen table and hitched my knickers to a side. My legs were round his waist, crossing them at the ankles, as we made fast and furious love. It was a long time Arthur and I had had any intimacy and the frustration showed.

“I kept my eyes open because I was facing the door, terrified Arthur would come in any minute. Only he didn’t —we virtually got away with murder! When we got back to the living room, Arthur was still snoring, oblivious of what just happened! We should do that again soon’, Amechi smirked. But that wasn’t the answer. As incredible as our romp had been — dangerous, erotic—he was no substitute to my husband’s love. We’ve had a few romps more since then but I’ve told him it had to stop. Somehow. I have to find a way of whining my husband off the bottle…”

Easier said than done, but I wished her luck. I’ve often said it that proximity is often a death knell to fidelity. The closer your partner’s friend is to the family, the easier for them to spot your vulnerability and zero in. A most hilarious incident happened some few months ago. Fola a close friend was dead keen on Veronica who is a regular visitor to my flat. Both of them were married but it was an open secret that none of the marriages was faithful. Fola put much pressure on me that I eventually agreed for both of them to meet at my place.

They seemed to be getting on real fine as I made an excuse to dash down to get a few items before the shops closed. ‘No hanky panky’, I warned as I left them! My bedroom door was firmly bolted and the house-help was left at their beck and call. I was a bit surprised when I saw the help coming to the house, clutching some inconsequential items. ‘Auntie and her friend said I should get these for them’, he said. What was going on? As I rushed in, I met the pair watching the box and chatting away like old friends.

“That friend of yours is a rough-neck,” Veronica said, when I picked her call the next day. My ears perked up. “As soon as you left”, she continued, “he was all over me kissing me urgently and mauling me. Before, I knew what hit me, he’d pinned me down on the sofa and had his way with me. When he sent your house help on a wild goose chase, I thought it was to allow us to at least kiss and cuddle and get to know each other better—not knowing I was left alone with a rapist!” I didn’t know what to make of her tirade.

Promising to get to the bottom of things, I called Fola, my friend. He was in an up-beat mood, “you were the one who planted the idea of a quickie in my head,” he accused. “I meant to be a gentleman but when you warned there should be no hanky-panky, I realized there was the possibility. As soon as the coast was clear, I went in for the kill…” But don’t you think you were a bit uncouth…” “Oh, cut it out. We’re both married, surely, we weren’t expecting any courtship or anything? So, I moved in too fast. But I intend to give her a romantic dinner or an expensive present soon if those would make me look more of a gentleman. At least we had fun downing the nice bottle of wine I brought with me.”

“Aren’t you putting the cart before the horse?”, I asked him. “Don’t think so,” he said, smugly. “Whatever her grouse, I’d scored with her.” That really got my goat. Was he still living in the dark ages? The days when sleeping with a woman as a sort of conquest is gone. These days, women are as predatory as their male counterparts. Ravishing a date at the slightest opportunity, so you could put notch on your bedpost is just not it!

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Why we cheat on our spouses – Abuja residents

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Read Time:2 Minute, 36 Second

Abuja – Some married people in Abuja on Wednesday identified the need for material possession as the major reason for infidelity among married couples.

Respondents in separate interviews also mentioned the desire to satisfy emotional needs as another contributory factor.

Mr Johnson Eze, a civil servant, said he was cheating on his wife not because he loved her less but for the sole purpose of “catching some fun’’.

He said: “My marriage is one of the best because my wife, who is God-given, is an understanding woman and she tolerates me a lot.

“Yet, I still find myself cheating on her just for the fun of it. This does not in any way diminish the love I have for her and my lovely kids.

“I recall an incident that happened some time ago. I told my wife that I was travelling to Calabar for an official assignment, but ended up with my girlfriend in a hotel, and she found out.

“The incident almost destroyed my home but thanks to God my wife was able to forgive and forget put the ugly incident behind, ‘’ he said.

Eze, who described infidelity as `a careless act,’ advised men to desist from it.

A female boutique operator, who pleaded anonymity, said the desire to keep up with the latest fashion trend made her to cheat on her husband.

According to her, the husband, a low income earner, was financially incapable of meeting her insatiable material needs.

“Besides, my hubby and I fight over things that are not relevant and I lie to him most times to raise extra cash to buy something, which he considers unnecessary.

“I have not been faithful in my marriage because of the temptation to stay on top of the fashion trend which is way beyond the financial capacity of my husband.

“Besides the extra cash my boyfriend gives me, whenever I want to collect money from my husband for food stuff and other basic necessities I always double the cost.

“This has become a habit for me and whenever I don’t get my share in any shopping I do on behalf of the family, I get angry and pick on my husband at any little provocation, ‘’ she added.

A legal practitioner who offered a coined name – Mr Kosi Chiemela – blamed his adulterous actions on lack of intimacy, emotional disconnection and lack of friendship with his wife.

Chiemela who described marriage as “one difficult school you cannot graduate from till you die,’’ stated that the only way to escape was to stay single.

“I am a temperamental person and when I newly got married, it was not easy for my wife whose temper is also short.

“Both of us hardly agree on anything and the only escape route for me is to seek love and affection elsewhere.

“My girlfriend understands me and she tolerates a lot, unlike my wife who blows up like a bomb at the slightest provocation,’’ he said

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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