Can you date your bestfriend’s ex?

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Read Time:25 Second

There really is no problem dating someone who isn't in a relationship, but when that person has dated your best friend, and probably did so while you were friends, a lot could be said about your relationship.

Even though they might have moved on from the relationship, a lot of people consider this a betrayal of trust when their best friend dates their Ex.

Lets find out what people think about dating their best friend's ex.

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About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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What you should know before engraving your wedding ring

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Read Time:1 Minute, 50 Second

Engraving your wedding ring with love quotes, a special date or the couple's names, makes the jewelry much more personal and meaningful.

Having certain words etched on rings is a traditional act that goes way back to the medieval eras.

While some couples may choose to have their names inscribed on the inside of their bands, others prefer to have their wedding date on it, that way they will never forget their anniversary.

That said, there are some important things you need to consider before you and your partner go ahead and engrave your wedding bands.

    The importance of ring engraving: While ring engraving has different significance to different people, the two main reasons why it is done are; (a) it is a romantic gesture, and (b) in order for the bride to have the assurance that her groom won't forget the wedding anniversary, because traditionally, couples have their wedding date etched into the rings. Also, engraving makes the rings very personal.

    When it should be done: The best time to have your rings engraved is when they are being made, though there is no problem with doing it later, especially if you want your engagement ring engraved as well.

    How to get it done: The first step is to talk to the jeweller you bought or are buying the rings from. However, if you're working with an independent designer, they can easily engrave the rings during the creation process.

    The cost of engraving rings: Prices vary depending on individual jeweller, but prices can start from as little as N11,966 per ring for basic engraving. Although the price can increase to a few hundreds of Naira if you were to include diamonds or other stones.

    What to engrave on the ring: Usually, couples opt for the following; the date and name of their partner; each other's nicknames; the wedding date separated with each other's birthstone (for instance 12.08.15); a memorable line (for example 'A Whole New World') or a diamond set on the inside of the band.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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How to get out of a failed marriage

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Read Time:2 Minute, 17 Second

Marriage is a beautiful thing especially if it is between two people who love each other and share the same dream and goals.

Unfortunately, many marriages have failed to reflect the qualities mentioned above, but have rather degenerated to a war zone.

How does one get out of this kind of arrangement, especially when every attempt to make it work has failed?

Below are some tips on how you can get out of a bad marriage:

    Consult your lawyer: Walking out of your marriage may sound very easy, but you may actually face some legal issues by doing so. Your best bet is to talk to a lawyer and plan your next move. Matters like joint accounts, loans, insurance policies, etc, need to be adequately sorted out since will be starting life afresh. It is very important that you settle every outstanding issues before taking any major step.

    Inform your children: If your marriage has produced children, they will be affected by the breakup. It is important that you confide in them and tell them the truth. explain to them why it is necessary for you to leave your spouse. Being honest with your children will help them see the wisdom behind your decision, which in turn will make them understand and respect your wish.

    Be financially independent: You need to have a steady means of livelihood so that you can be financially independent and not have to rely on your partner for money. If you must end your marriage, you must be able to take care of yourself when become single again. You need to be able to cater for yourself (and your children, if you have any).

    Relocate: Having tied every loose ends, the next thing on your to-do list should be moving to another location. This is important because you need to put some distance between you and your spouse, and also shed all the bad memories and baggage. This is one of the first steps in starting over a new life.

    Don't call your partner: Having decided to to break ties with your spouse, it is very essential that you stand your ground. Make sure you don't call your partner anymore even if you are tempted to. Aside from putting physical distance between you two, you also need to put emotional distance. That is the only way you can completely be free from them, and fully move on with your life.

Ending a relationship is never easy, even if it was a really bad one. But knowing that you are making the right decision will help you go through with it.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Pregnant woman pours hot water on neighbour for peeping during her bath

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Read Time:52 Second

Enugu — A pregnant woman, Mrs Mercy Chintua, has been arrested by the operatives of Enugu State Police Command over allegation of assault on her neighbour, whom she said spied on her while she was taking her bath.

The suspect, who resides at Akwuke, Awkunanaw axis of Enugu State, had allegedly poured hot water on the victim, Emmanuel Anyebe, for allegedly peeping on her while she was having her bath on February 23.

Confirming the incident, Police Public Relations Officer, PPRO, Mr. Ebere Amaraizu said: “Mercy poured hot water on the victim as he was going to bath. She alleged that the victim was peeping into the bathroom while having her bath.

“The hot water inflicted serious body burns on the victim. As a result of the injuries sustained from the act, he was unconscious and was rushed to a nearby hospital. The victim has denied ever peeping on the woman during bath.

“The suspect has, however, pleaded for leniency as she ascribed her actions to demonic spirit in her.”

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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107-yr-old man weds 95-yr-old woman in Plateau

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Read Time:51 Second

The wedding ceremony of a 107 year old man, Dikam Garba Dabo'ok to Ka Natong in Mangu local government area on Plateau State, came to many as a surprise and may well be the most talked about ceremony for a long time to come.

For the records, Dikam Dab'ok and his bride are not new lovers having been married traditionally for 65 years.

Ka Natong is said to be the last woman standing of the old man's seven wives and with his new status as a born again Christian and an elder in the Church of Christ in Nations (COCIN), Dikam Dabo'ok feels it is right to finally wed the woman the Christian way, after realising that he has been living in sin all those past years.

The wedding ceremony turned out to be a carnival as the children, some of whom have grand-children of their own, turned out in style to give their father a befitting wedding gift.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Why I prefer early marriage

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Read Time:5 Minute, 2 Second

I believe it is the prerogative of every adult to decide when to marry and who to get married to. I also believe that, as people in a free society with freedom of speech, parents have a duty to offer their children advice. Whether the advice is taken or jettisoned is a different matter. It is in exercise of this freedom that I called my two eldest children some time ago.

I told my eldest daughter that once she hits 20 years I will not have issues age-wise if she decides to get married. For my eldest son, I told him 25 years. I got no response from my daughter, but my son laughed and screamed: “ but daddy, that is too young.” To which I responded: “No, it’s not; I will support and help you.” By “support and help” I mean:

One, I am praying to God, the giver of good spouses, to send my children God-given spouses. Two, I am preparing them for marriage and parenthood through mentoring, actions and words. I learnt much of what I apply in my marriage from my parents. Three, I keep an eye on their school work to ensure that they keep pace with their peers. Four, I am encouraging them to follow a career path is tied to their passions, not my choice or what is in vogue. Building a career around their passions will hopefully give them a head start, a regular income and a roof over their heads early enough. Regular income, accommodation and focus are what a young man needs to get married, not tons of money.

I am going to ask my daughter again. If she has no interest in early marriage or marriage for that matter, I will not put pressure on her because I believe marriage is optional (Mathew 19:12) ( 1Cor 7: 1-9), but I want to know her plans so that I can offer advice where necessary because as a teenager she still needs parental guidance to make wise choices.

Marrying early or late has its advantages and disadvantages, but I prefer early marriage, even though I married late. One, I prefer my children having their children when they are younger, so that they can be done with baby making early and move on with their lives including retiring early if they so wish. Some people still have children in school when they are retired thereby misapplying money meant for their old age and retirement. As experience has shown, some of these children trained with retirement money do not reciprocate their parents’ kind gestures sometimes through no fault of theirs. My last two children will still be in school when I hit 60 years; I do not want my children in that situation, if it is avoidable.

Two, scientifically, child birth is better and less risky for women between 18 and 35 years than above 35 years. Why increase your risks when you can avoid it? Also, is it not better if people marry early and unleash their youthful vigour and “fury” on each other within marriage rather than waste it outside marriage? That way, even when they pass their peak, they will be contented that they had their prime years together in matrimony. Three, I do not believe they will miss anything by marrying young. If they want to boogie, party or go night clubbing, let them do it with their spouses.

Four, marrying early gives you the strength of youth to run around with your children in their early stages when they are most physically active. As they grow older, you also get older and more experienced to deal with the challenges of their adolescent years and beyond.

Five, make hays while your sun shines. An old friend told me how “at 23, a man came practically kneeling down, begging me to marry him. I ignored him, feeling I have the whole world ahead of me.” She is now in her 50s and never got married despite all her efforts subsequently.

Six, the truth is no responsible parents want their daughters passed around from one man to the other like a football. Marrying early can help sort out this (not always so; by 12, some girls are already sexually active) and resulting problems or pressure

Seven, the problem some marriages have is that both parties were well matured and set in their ways before coming together. Normally maturity should be an asset in marriage, but in some cases it becomes a liability because nobody wants to bend for the other. So I want my children to marry early. They will make mistakes, but hopefully they will grow with their spouses and mature together like loving siblings.

Eight, it is true that marriage is for mature minds, but I believe that maturity here is not necessarily determined by age but by knowledge and a strong foundation. This is where parents come in. Preparing children for marriage and parenthood should form part of the children’s upbringing from childhood. That is why daughters should learn how to run their matrimonial homes in their parents’ homes and get better in their matrimonial homes.

Sons on the other hand should be taught to be responsible. They should know the basics of financial management and how to live peacefully with females. My sons know it is a taboo to beat their baby sister no matter the level of provocation. They can only report her to me or their mother. Beating her attracts rebuke or sanctions. I am using her to teach them how to tolerate their future spouses and what a lesson in tolerance; their baby sister can ruffle feathers. I tell them it is not cool for couples to fight and even worse when they fight in the presence of the children.

Really, I am just exercising my freedom of speech. Guys, the ball is in your court and may God guide you.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy – Rapist

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Read Time:2 Minute, 40 Second

One of the men convicted of the gang-rape and murder of an Indian student that shocked the world has said he blames the victim for “roaming around at night”.

The comments are made in a documentary to be screened on International Women’s Day.

Mukesh Singh, who was sentenced to death for his crimes, said the victim should not have been out at night, and should not have resisted the attack on a moving bus in 2012.

“You can’t clap with one hand -– it takes two hands. A decent girl won’t roam around at 9 o’clock at night,” he said in an interview for “India’s Daughter”, a BBC documentary to be broadcast on Sunday.

“A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy. About 20 per cent of girls are good.”

The 23-year-old physiotherapy student died from her injuries 13 days after she was savagely attacked on her way home from the cinema with a male friend on December 16, 2012.

Before her death she was able to speak to police about the crime, which caused outrage across the world and triggered mass protests in India.

The attack highlighted the frightening level of violence against women in the world’s second most populous country and led to a major reform of the rape laws, speeding up trials and increasing penalties.

But Singh, 28, said his execution would “make life more dangerous for future rape victims”.

“Now when they rape, they won’t leave the girl like we did. They will kill her,” he told Leslee Udwin, the award-winning British filmmaker behind the documentary.

He also criticised the victim for fighting back against her attackers.

“She should just be silent and allow the rape,” he said. “Then they’d have dropped her off after doing her.”

“India’s Daughter” will be televised in seven countries including India and Britain on Sunday, International Women’s Day.

Udwin will speak to media at a screening of her film later Tuesday alongside the victim’s parents, who have campaigned vocally for improvements in women’s safety since their daughter’s death.

She said she was inspired by seeing ordinary Indians take to the streets to protest “in unprecedented numbers” following the attack.

“In my lifetime, I can’t recall any other country standing up with such commitment and determination for women’s rights,” Udwin said.

The case sparked much soul-searching about India’s treatment of women, but women’s rights campaigners say little has changed in the deeply patriarchal country.

Singh, one of five people convicted over the attack, admitted driving the bus during the incident but denied taking part in the rape.

He is appealing the verdict against him.

One of the alleged attackers died in jail before he could be tried, while another was too young to be tried as an adult and is serving a three-year sentence in a reform facility.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Second wives’ battle with their step-daughters for their men’s affection

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Read Time:6 Minute, 45 Second

My husband, Made, a surgeon, was 56 and at the end of a 27-year marriage when I met him five years ago”, recalled Susan when recounting her experience as a step-mother to three hostile children from her husband’s first marriage. “I was 43, with a 10-year old daughter from a previous relationship; he had three daughters ranging in age from late teens to early 20s.

“While we realised weeks after meeting that we had most definitely fallen in love, we knew we would face considerable challenge blending our domestic lives. Still, we kept saying to each other, with deluded pride it would be a piece of cake. What I hadn’t realised, in my excitement, was just how demanding or complex becoming a second wife would be. For the first 18 months of our relationship, our blissful high, were punctuated by damning lows, raging arguments and periods of insecurity. I hadn’t envisaged I’d have to navigate such lonely and unhospitable terrain.

“Four years into my marriage, I now have a special empathy for second wives. It’s like a taboo club, particularly if you’re struggling to unite two families. When you meed another member, there is this sigh of relief knowing that they relate only too well to what you are going through. I believe mine and Made’s problems stemmed from our different family backgrounds and attitudes.

With a grass to grace background, he didn’t place that much importance on education, and had never once encouraged his children to do their homework or even read school reports. His former marital home was chaotic and untidy. I, on the other hand; was upper middle class who believed in firm boundaries, discipline and tough love. Ass the daughter of a retired high court judge, education ranks highly amongst my list of parenting priorities. I’m also a house-proud neat-freak!

“our different parenting styles became a sort of battle ground. I couldn’t believe that it didn’t matter to him if his daughters went to the university – or even strive to get a job. Worse, he would over-compensate whenever he saw or spoke to them. I soon realised this is common among men who’ve left the marital home to begin a new relationship. Some days they are so eaten up with guilt about choosing their own happiness at the expense of their children’s security, that they can become over-placatory and – often in the eyes of the second wife, weak.

“I remember staring at Made open-mouthed the first time his youngest daughter then 16, joined us for lunch, six months into our relationship. (To this day, the two older children have refused to meet me. I have some sympathy with this; they felt we got married too quickly). As we sat in the restaurant, I simply couldn’t believe his funny, dopey smile and forced jollity. I’d never seen this side of him before and I was frankly stunned. And for the first year, whenever he spoke to his daughters on the phone, he would adopt an ingratiatingly sugary voice I’d never heard him use with anyone else. He’s endlessly patient with them, never rising to anger. Yet in the rough and tumble of our domestic life, he will shout at me, eyes cold with fury!

“In fairness to him, he’s always been wonderfully inclusive of my daughter. I did not introduce her to him until we were engaged four months into our relationship, so she, like Made’s children, had to accept our marriage was a done deal!

“As things stand, there is a constant fracture between his `his family’, i.e., the first family, and `our family’, the second one. I was so resentful of his first wife that I often broke the cardinal rule, criticizing his children. I asked myself how could he bring up children who according to him were never taught to say thank you or tidy their room. And because of my attacking nature, we had furious vows, and naturally he became defensive on their behalf.

He began to creep out to phone his children on his mobile, speaking to them in his car, which created a sense of betrayal. If they rang when we were in the car together, he wouldn’t take the call. His older children never phoned our landline, as that would mean they’d have to acknowledge I actually existed, and lived with their father.

This is my warning to anxious second wives; take note – the secretive texting and furtive calls your husband makes are far more likely to be to his children than his ex-wife or any other woman. Recently, we were in the car when his daughter called. He was unsure whether to take the call, and I urged him to. But when he spoke to her, he said, ‘I’m in the car as opposed to ‘we’re’. I felt insulted that I was not referred to – as if my presence was a guilty secret. When I share my experiences with other ‘second wives’ I find the mobile phone scenario typical.

One friend feels nauseated every time her husband speaks to his 27 year old daughter and goes all gooey and adoring, calling her ‘darling’ and ‘sweetie’ as if he’s speaking to his young lover. She also has to endure her step-daughter rearranging his clothes and patting his hair to shape while staring pointedly at her. Another friend is incensed every time her step daughter waltzes into her kitchen and help herself to the choicest of meat in the pot.

“I agree such behaviour over steps a boundary, just as I believe children should phone and thank their step-mothers when they have been to stay. Yes, it’s their father’s house, but when you – as the eager-to-please wife – have put yourself out to accommodate them, trying far harder than with your most challenging and exhausting guests, it would be a generous gesture that the father could endorse. I’m not surprised statistics show that second marriages are struggling and increasingly ending in divorce. Third marriages are even worse”.

Give your brain a work-out

Welcome to the ranks of those who are female and forgetful. The numbers of female scatterbrains are growing daily – and the members are getting younger. Dr. Elisa Lottor, in California, believes short-term memory loss is now so widespread among women that it’s becoming an epidemic.

Elisa Lottor gives these five-step programme to help restore your memory and sharpen your mind.

Eat a balanced diet: High in fruit and vegetable and low in animal fats. Cut down on processed sugar, caffeine and fizzy drinks. Eat carbohydrates in the form of vegetables, fruit and whole grain rather than processed four, pasts and bread. Eat high-quality fats such as fish oils and olive oil.

Look at your lifestyle: Go easy on the booze, don’t smoke and make sure you get enough sleep and daily exercise. Try to keep your weight sensible. The more fat a woman carries, the more oestrogen she produces, which isn’t good for memory.

Cut down on stress as far as you possibly can: Exercise your mind. Do puzzles and the cross words, or play a game of draughts, cards or chess.

Take brain boosting supplements on top of your healthy diet – 8 vitamins including folic acid and B12, plus anti-oxidants such as Vitamins E and C and selenium. Or try the Chinese herbs ginseng and ginkzgo biloba.

Watch your health: Memory loss could be a sign of problems with hormone levels, your blood sugar level or your thyroid gland.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Is he too old for me?

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Read Time:1 Minute, 56 Second

I got this email from a reader recently and it mirrors what lots of people are passing through in their relationships. The question of age difference is a serious one affecting lots of relationships.

SL Fabz, read her story below and give some useful advice:

    Hello Steph, I turned 23 last year October and before I went home for the holidays (I study abroad) I prayed fervently to God to let meet someone because I have been single for like 3yrs. So I got home and started interning because I was bored of staying at home and on this day after I closed from work, I met this guy who asked to give me a lift. Fast forward to two weeks later, we bonded so well and I was so into him. I think I liked him.

    He loves me so much, at least that’s what he said, and told me he wanted something serious with me. I agreed and then he asked what my Genotype was because he always has a problem with that. I wasn’t too sure so I went for a Genotype Test and I was AA which means we were good to go. He was very excited. He introduced me to his Mum, Dad and only sister all within my summer holiday. I met each of them on separate occasions and they were very warm towards me (he’s the only son).

    A month after we met, I let him and we made love. I was a virgin and that broke his heart because he wept. Before I was due to leave Nigeria in October,  he asked me several times to marry him but I felt it was too soon. We had been together for just 3MONTHS!! He’s everything I have always wanted in a man. He’s catholic, educated, matured, a good Christian from a good home and has a good job. But the thing is am 23 and he’s 36!! For some reason I think he is far older than me. What do you guys think. Is 13yrs too much? Should I go ahead and marry him?

SL Fabz, please give her some good advice in dealing with this situation.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Amazing love stories

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Read Time:2 Minute, 8 Second

Love stories have been told around the world in more ways than one. Many have experienced amazing love stories and marriage proposals in ways that blow the mind. The love stories and experiences differ from person to person.

Last year, a blogger posted stories of different love experiences of young couples. A United States-based Nigerian Bukky and Samuel capped their relationship with Samuel proposing on the Atlanta Skyview. The love-birds started dating in high-school but passed through some troubles. Love however always brought them back together, stronger and closer than before until he proposed.

Also last year, a guy used a police stop to propose to his girlfriend in Port Harcourt. The man had earlier arranged for a stop-and-search on the road as he and his girlfriend were going to a restaurant. While the police were harassing the man, his girl was very upset. But he suddenly asked her to look up to a billboard positioned before them and she saw her photos on display. Family and friends of the couple from Lagos emerged from nowhere and a table was set-up outside the restaurant. The man went down on one knee, a 5-man orchestra played and he proposed undying love and marriage to her.

For Richards Ugochukwu who met his beau through the twitter, it takes a twitter proposal to seal their love. His other half, Oma Ezeagwu got a marriage proposal in a strange way. The couple met on Twitter in October 2012. The man chose to pop the question in a unique way and he got a reply “yes” from the beautiful lady.

A crowded Ikeja shopping mall turned out a veritable venue for another couple. They went shopping when suddenly, the guy went on his knee in a crowded mall and made a proposal to his girlfriend. They were surrounded by dozens of shoppers and the girl said “yes”.

Chinedu Ikedieze, a Nollywood star few years ago shocked his fans when he tied a knot with a tall beautiful belle. Only true love could have joined them together. Talking about his love life, Chinedu says “God will not forgive you if you know you love a girl and she loves you and you know you can make a family. So, what stops you from telling her you love her? What stops you from telling her ‘common baby, let’s do this.’ I just told my wife, “baby, lets do this and the rest is history”.

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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