How do you know if you’re in love, lust, or marriage?

LOVE – – when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST – – when your tongues meet across a crowded room.

MARRIAGE – – when your belt won’t meet around your
waist, and you don’t care.

LOVE – – when intercourse is called making love.
LUST – – all other times.
MARRIAGE – – what’s intercourse?

LOVE – – when you argue over how many children to
LUST – – when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE – – when you argue over money.

LOVE – – when you share everything you own.
LUST – – when you think twice about giving your
partner bus money.
MARRIAGE – – when the bank owns everything.

LOVE – – when it doesn’t matter if you don’t climax.
LUST – – when the relationship is over, if you don’t
MARRIAGE – – what’s a climax?

LOVE – – when you phone each other just to say
LUST – – when you phone each other just to arrange
MARRIAGE – – when you phone each other to find out
what time your son’s game starts.

LOVE – – when you write poems about your partner.
LUST – – when all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE – – when all you write are checks.

LOVE – – when you show concern for your partners’
LUST – – when you couldn’t give a sh*t.
MARRIAGE – – when your only concern is what’s on TV.

LOVE – – when your farewell is “I love you darling
LUST – – when your farewell is “So, same time next
MARRIAGE – – when your farewell is silent.

LOVE – – when you are proud to be seen in public with
your partner.
LUST – – when you only ever see each other in the
MARRIAGE – – when you never see each other awake.

LOVE – – when your heart flutters everytime you see
LUST – – when your groin twitches everytime you see
MARRIAGE – – when your wallet empties everytime you
see them.

LOVE – – when nobody else matters.
LUST – – when nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE – – when everybody else matters and you don’t
care who knows.

LOVE – – when all the songs on the radio describe
exactly how you feel.
LUST – – when it’s just the same mushy old sh*t.
MARRIAGE – – when you never listen to music.

LOVE – – when breaking up is something you try not to
think about.
LUST – – when staying together is something you try
not to think about.
MARRIAGE – – when just getting through today is your
only thought.

LOVE – – when you’re interested in everything your
partner does.
LUST – – when you’re only interested in one thing.
MARRIAGE – – when you’re not interested in what your
partner does and the one thing you’re interested in is
your golf score.

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