Relationships

My wife is cheating with a vibrator!

Remember the story of ‘worried guy’ who caught his wife with a vibrator on their matrimonial bed? Well, the interesting thing is that the story has not ceased to generate interest and response since it was published mid last year. In fact, the wife’s response did not attract as much attention as the guy’s even though she had valid points too.

To date, I have received over 500 mails from readers wishing to take part in counselling this couple. I intend to keep to my promise as much as possible of giving as many readers the chance to have their say. The letters below is the fourth edition of responses on this story. If you are yet to see yours, just hang in with us as it might be your turn soon. Remember that you may still write to us on some other issues we have discussed on this platform. This is simply a place to share experiences and views on all subjects relating to lifestyle and love life and I am sure that together we can make a difference and touch a life out there. You may reach me via: yetty5050@yahoo.co.uk. Cheers.   Do have a wonderful weekend.

Dear Yetunde,

Before I commence my writing, allow me to prove a mathematical formula which states, ANY RELATIONSHP minus (-) TIME = END OF THE RELATIONSHIP. This formula also applies to our relationship with God. If you call yourself a Christian but you don’t spend time with God, that relationship is about to be broken. Same applies to us as humans…

sex

I’m not a marriage counsellor but  I know little about marriage. I think both parties (the couples) played a big part in the collapse of the marriage so to say…  On the guy’s part, every young marriage needs time together. Time to make plan for the future and the present, which I think they lacked. A counsellor once told me “in the first two years of your marriage, you need to spend at least four hours during the day plus six hours during the night by her side because you have stripped her of her old life and have become her new life which means you have to live in her”. 

This guy (husband) always leaves home early and comes back late at night. Not only that, he is also taking a professional class during weekend. I believe most times when he comes back from work he’s already weak and dog-tired, all he can do is eat and sleep off.  My question is how often do they have sex, talk about life, fun outside their home, share their pains? For the record, they still don’t have kids, the wife is most times lonely. The guy needs to right these wrongs.   Most wives value the love you give them than the money you give them. He needs a job that will spare him time with his family. But they still need to see a marriage counsellor

On the wife’s part, I see her as an introvert, she has secrets from her past and still living with them. She went to a girls only secondary school where she learnt masturbation and different sexual relief methods. Perhaps she left it in the course of life before she got back to it again.  She is also a sex monger, which is not a sin if she is having it with the right person (husband). But she kept her sexual desire within herself which was not supposed to be. Instead, she was using  dildo or vibrator to have sex by herself. Should couples keep secrets? Especially one of this kind; sex.

A school of thought says sex is love in marriage. If couples are having problem in their sex lives, it’s not a problem for one to solve. They would have to solve it themselves. The wife needs to turn from her way of life and apologise because she has caused him a mental and emotional pain. I don’t want to be spiritual but I must tell you any compulsive behaviour is a bondage and a sin equally. You don’t take this with a kid glove. You and your wife need to agree and pray for this chain to be broken not necessarily by going to the pastor. I know it is hard for the guy to take it off his head but with time, he will. To tell you the truth, its easier said than done but believe me the worried man can call her his wife again

– See more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/01/wife-cheating-vibrator-2/#sthash.YqeNcpnq.dpuf

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