Relationships

Help, my mistress refuses abortion

Dear Bunmi,

I’m currently married to my childhood sweetheart. In the three years we’ve been married, she’s had a couple of miscarriages and is currently undergoing treatment. In the meantime, this girlfriend I met at the beginning of the year is now pregnant. I was shocked. I told her to have an early abortion but she was furious, insisting she was going ahead with the pregnancy and that I should be man enough to face my responsibilities.
When my wife found out, she went ballistic and called me a heartless pig. My mum has refused to take anyone’s side and life looks a complete mess. I feel as if I’ve ruined everything for everyone. I just can’t see a way out.

Alfred,
By e-mail

Dear Alfred,
You’re in a mess alright, but the only way through this is to face up to your responsibilities as your mistress suggested. You can’t force her to have an abortion, so you will have to support your child, and I hope, be an actively involved dad. Once your wife has calmed down, she may realise none of this is the baby’s fault, but it is going to take a lot of hard work if she is ever to forgive and trust you again.

It is sad that despite the campaign against unprotected sex, a lot of men freely indulge in it leaving strings of unwanted pregnancies, and sexually transmitted diseases.

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