My Father

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Read Time:1 Minute, 5 Second

My Father

When I was …

Four years old: My daddy can do anything.

Five years old: My daddy knows a whole lot.

Six years old: My dad is smarter than your dad.

Eight years old: My dad doesn’t know exactly everything.

Ten years old: In the olden days, when my dad grew up, things were sure different.

Twelve years old: Oh, well, naturally, Dad doesn’t know anything about that. He is too old to remember his childhood.

Fourteen years old: Don’t pay any attention to my dad. He is so old-fashioned.

Twenty-one years old: Him? My Lord, he’s hopelessly out of date.

Twenty-five years old: Dad knows about it, but then he should,
because he has been around so long.

Thirty years old: Maybe we should ask Dad what he thinks. After all, he’s had a lot of experience.

Thirty-five years old: I’m not doing a single thing until I talk to Dad.

Forty years old: I wonder how Dad would have handled it. He was so wise.

Fifty years old: I’d give anything if Dad were here now so I could talk this over with him. Too bad I didn’t appreciate how smart he was. I could have learned a lot from him{linkr:related;keywords:father;limit:5;title:Related Articles}

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Who Should He Marry? Why Of Course!

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The Ideal couple? A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of N5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several ! times the N5,000. She gives him back his N5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her. Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs. Men are like that, you know. There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no memory of what to do with them

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About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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How Old Do YOU Look? Really?

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Don’t Ask Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking… surely I cannot look that old? You may enjoy this short story. While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome guy with the same name had been in my high school class some 48 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. “Yes,” he replied. “When did you graduate? He answered, “In 1956. Why?” “You were in my class!” I exclaimed. He looked at me closely, and then the son of a gun asked… “What did you teach?”

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Dad Has a Point

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Read Time:1 Minute, 13 Second

A young boy had just gotten his driver’s permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father took him into his study and said to the boy, “I’ll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut, then we’ll talk about the car.”Well, the boy thought about that for a moment, and decided that he’d settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.After about six weeks, the boy came back and again asked his father about using the car. Again, they went to the study, where his father said, “Son , I’ve been real proud of you. You’ve brought your grades up, and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, and participating a lot more in the Bible study class on Sunday morning. But, I’m real disappointed, since you haven’t gotten your hair cut.”The young man paused a moment, and then said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there’s even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.” His father replied, “You’re right, son. Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”

 

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About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Father Explains Condoms to Son

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Read Time:56 Second

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad? The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.” “Oh I see,” replied the boy. “Yes, I’ve heard of that in health class at school.”

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,

“Why are there 3 in this package?” The dad replies, “Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.” “Cool” says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, “Then who are these for?” “Those are for college men,” the dad answers, “TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.” “WOW!” exclaimed the boy,

“Then who uses THESE?” he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, “Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…….”

 

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About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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Antologies By Chizoba Chukwurah

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Read Time:3 Minute, 21 Second

GUARD AND PROTECT O Lord,
guard the soldier’s wife And his orphans protect For far away
He has gone To a land too foreign………..to him
In search of peace………….

he has gone Alas he is gone
But one may ask Has he linked the missing link in Liberia?
Littered with skeletons and living dead
Lord clothe them all
Clothe the bone and shield them all

Obey he must Less he be jailed………..
Framed nor hanged But then,
who then is the wife Orphans and friends?
For where ever he goes
A new wife is found But Lord guard them all

That he bruised along his part
O Lord guard the soldier’s wife And his orphans protect.

BYE BYE SALON Salon How are you salon?
Them people visited you
And saw indeed In you house Starving children

Please bear with me Where are their hands?
Legs and ears of your dear children
In far away liber I saw your gemstones
Exchanging for But instrument of destruction

Salon my friend One of your rooms
The Krankor Mountain A home of dissidents Why don’t you ask why?
Not even Boh, nor Kenema was habitable Makeni, Bombali, Lunsar,
Bumbuna infested Were them all Even your Motel Mammy Yoko Capesera,
Kailondo was not safe Salon
Your citadel Years back an icon of learning in West Africa

But now it can only be seen Overlooking Freetown like a scarecrow Fourah Bay it was………………
Salon, Why so much celebration In burying your children in gross And your only gift to me was………..
Is it children with amputated hands….toes….Ears
You offer me No……….No………..No

Bye Bye Salon.
DUDU BOY OUT OF HABBEL
Dudu boy Dudu boy Alas you have come again
Dropping your devilish gifts Upon those hungry fellows
Staring at you like a Man from a strange land

Dudu boy Dudu boy You pretend to drop down in shame Like an eagle on a deserted sky
But then it was only but a trick Where through the lightning flash
And thundering rain of your Christmas gifts Came sending poor fellow to great beyond

Dudu boy Dudu boy Supporting the tired limping giant
Soon you appeared alive
they become Thrashing the hovering rebellious fellows
To foothills and swampy jungles Of harm and surging sea A skill…..

you perfect in You send them stampeding in disarray But alas?
Dudu boy Dudu boy Why do you sell goods of death?
To those lovely innocent eyes

Dudu boy……..Dudu boy
Hold your goods our of Habble And have dignity
They need those goods No more.

SOLDIER ANTS Soldier ants Soldier ants Like a stream you flow with ease Soldier ants,
your agreement who can copy Big you are,
Bigger you are, Biggest you are also!
Both sides you guard Warding off enemies sides ways and above You quarrel not,
above each other you crawl You scream not the pain of your brother’s weight
The weak you carried along with you The little you stamped not to death
In season you work,

out of the season you rest
On departure you left not your eggs Your troupe who can dare,
not the lion can You fall off
your operation post Your position you struggle to hold

Soldier ants Soldier ants, you rest not,
the work is on The parapet you form What a lesson Soldiers learn from Like a cub web…..
you guard your heard…..
above your brothers Dipper

your tunnel Diversion your strategy
Your abode who can find Your dead you left not behind The city you attack….
what a desolate it becomes
You trilled the eyes like a chain saw Miles and miles your thrilling thrills Soldier ants……….

Your tell who can tell?
What a lesson you are to man Soldier ants………Soldier ants…………
How great a lesson? You are………….

About Post Author

Anthony-Claret Ifeanyi Onwutalobi

Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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