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WASHINGTON (CAP) – Making a surprise appearance in his office on the pretense of doing some work, Vice President Joe Biden offered up his thoughts on the recent Trayvon Martin verdict to the cleaning crew and interns who were milling about.
"George Zimmerman could have been me," Biden lamented. "You know, if I was half-Hispanic and weighed about a hundred pounds more.
"And had a penchant for gunning down unarmed black youths," he added.
Biden's comments come as half-Hispanics throughout the country breathed a sigh of relief at the outcome of the trial, knowing they could stand their ground against non-threatening young black men who are not confronting them while minding their own business.
"If anyone knows the plight of the half-Hispanic male, it's Joe Biden," said CAP News Racial Profiler Samuel Waters. "What with his maternal great-great grandfather hailing from Ireland but the rest of his ancestors from England and all. He gets it."
Biden tried to describe the lens through which many half-Hispanics may see the case, trying to figure out just what sort of Hispanic George Zimmerman is, or if he is even Hispanic at all. He said it's time for half-Hispanics to come together and pin the blame on the Catholics.
"I know that just shifts the focus from the heritage I don't have to the religion I don't practice," Biden said. "But shifting focus from the heart of the matter to something inconsequential is how America heals."
Biden then gave his Hispanic cleaning crew the rest of the day off, instructing them to "go out and hug a black person" to show there were no hard feelings.