Police in Miami found more than just drugs and alcohol yesterday when they arrested teen pop sensation Justin Bieber.
Sources close to the investigation say that in addition to the prescription medication Xanax, the cops also found a “significant” stash of over-the-counter penis enlargement pills in the glove compartment.
Records show that law enforcement confiscated 1 bottle of Enzyte, 2 bottles of Erectzan, 3 bottles of Rock-It-Man and 1 bottle of MaxURPrick. Police tested the pills to see if Bieber was using the bottles to store illegal drugs, but chemical analysis showed they were purely for male enhancement.
Bieber, who was charged with a DUI this morning, is no stranger to legal trouble. He has been warned numerous times for his drug use and aggressive driving. Just last week police searched his home after neighbors reported an egging incident.
Many observers have speculated that Bieber’s hyper-masculine, macho behavior has been an attempt to compensate for the fact he has an extremely tiny penis – a hypothesis which today’s events have confirmed.