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TRENTON, NJ (CAP) – New Jersey became the first state to ban so-called weight reduction therapy yesterday when Gov. Chris Christie signed into law a bill to prohibit the controversial practice and then ate the legislation. "It was actually a mimeographed copy as a symbolic gesture," Christie told the stunned reporters who were thumbing through law books to see if the governor had nullified his new law by ingesting it. "Mimeo ink tastes a lot like blue raspberry."
Methods for weight reduction therapy involve everything from diet and exercise to pills and herbal remedies to fat farms and nutritional counseling. The New Jersey law prevents parents from forcing their young heffers to partake in any of those activities prior to the age of 18.
"Gov. Christie has always believed that people are born with the predisposition to be fat," said one aide who has gained 21 pounds since Christie implemented Free Donut Fridays at the state house last fall. "Who are we to fight nature?"
Christie, who has long battled weight problems and an insatiable appetite for anything edible that passes within five feet of his person, is widely considered a likely 2016 presidential contender and the Republican party's best chance to unseat Howard Taft as the country's most overweight president.
"As President Taft once said, He who depraves a man of his danish, depraves that man of his Democracy," Christie pointed out. "I think he was stuck in the White House bathtub when he said it."
The new law comes on the heels of Christie also banning gay conversion therapy which prohibits licensed therapists from trying to convert gay Republicans into Democrats "in order to keep the GOP untainted."
SOURCE: cap-news
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