I have breaking news from Rosenwald comma Maryland about fractured penises.
The news is so important that, as a public health service, I do not want to stall its dissemination with a sophomoric joke that might cause a bout of sudden unemployment.
So herewith is the title of an academic paper that hit my digital doorstep this morning: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Penile Fracture Seems More Likely During Sex Under Stressful Situations.Ã¢â‚¬Â
The paper was published the other day in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The author is Andrew Kramer, a University of Maryland urologist who practices within the confines of Rosenwald comma Maryland. His discovery, summarized for a family newspaper is this: men having sex in unusual, uncomfortable positions in Ã¢â‚¬Å“out-of-ordinary locationsÃ¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬â€ often because they are hiding extramarital affairs Ã¢â‚¬â€ are more likely to break their tunica albuginea.
Some examples of Ã¢â‚¬Å“out-of-ordinaryÃ¢â‚¬Â locations cited in the paper were an office, an automobile, and an elevator.
I just got off the phone with Kramer, who reports that, Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve written quite a few papers in my life but none have gotten as much interest from a lay audience as this one. Maybe it has captured the fear men have of these events.Ã¢â‚¬Â
The remarkable part of his four-page paper, other than the title, abstract, introduction, results, discussion and footnotes Ã¢â‚¬â€ Ã¢â‚¬Å“Fractured penis: Diagnosis and managementÃ¢â‚¬Â Ã¢â‚¬â€ is that most of the 16 men studied were 100 percent honest about their injuries. This did not surprise Kramer.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“They tell the truth because they want it fixed,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Kramer, noting that immediate surgery is usually required. Ã¢â‚¬Å“Most guys come in and say, Ã¢â‚¬ËœIÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m gonna be honest with you because I really want my penis fixed.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ They are really terrified. And you can totally understand that.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Kramer said a lot of people have wondered whether his paper proves that Karma exists for cheating men. Ã¢â‚¬Å“That was not my intention at all,Ã¢â‚¬Â Kramer told me.
Nevertheless, men: You have been warned.
Repeat after me: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Penile Fracture Seems More Likely During Sex Under Stressful Situations.Ã¢â‚¬Â