I Cannot Stand Sex With My Husband Anymore

My husband and I lived together for four years before our marriage. I lost my virginity to him and our relationship was destined to be great.

I lived with him during my student days as a nurse because his house was very close to the Nursing School I attended.

He helped pay my tuition. We got married after my programme and that was eleven years ago. We are blessed with two kids, all males and I got a job in a big hospital in Delta State and had to relocate. I lived with my younger sisters who help to keep eyes on the kids while I am at work. My husband was coming to see us but one day, he came and it was obvious he wanted to make trouble. He began to complain about not being paid attention and began to allege I was seeing someone else. It was very strange and that was the first time he visited without our having sex.

Perhaps, I was the hot blooded type and sometimes, I would just travel to be with him just to have sex. It was obvious he understood this need and started to use it against me. Instead of me being the one to complain about headache, he was the one complaining even to the point of calling me a nymphomaniac. He was the one that got me initiated to sex and he taught me the wild way. I enjoyed sex with him and the transfer affected me. But my man was to start using that against me.

The next time he came to Asaba after he made allegations, he demanded for N300,000 to facilitate purchase of goods but I gave him N220,000 which I borrowed from my office. During his stay, he grudgingly had sex with me and traveled back to his base three days later. He didn’t come for the next three weeks and I didn’t want to go and meet him so he would not subject me to the humiliation of sexual deprivation. The next time he came to Asaba, he said he was going to Lagos and would travel to UK subsequently.

I was shocked that he did not discuss this with me. I didn’t even know that the money he took from me was to facilitate this trip. During the visit, he said he wouldn’t have sex because he wouldn’t want me to get pregnant for another man and pass the child to him. I suffered this calmly and he went ahead to say that he was having double mind about me and that was why he needed to be away to know if he would miss me. I even thought his trip was a two or three months thing but he was gone for six years. He kept extending his return until he told me to stop worrying about him and move on with my life.

I waited for two years before I began to date a doctor in the hospital. We had child together. He was a perfect replacement for Bob my husband. What gingered me into that relationship was the lackadaisical attitude of Bob’s family during our travails. His parents are late and he has three younger siblings none of whom gave a damn about our marriage. His uncles were more concerned about getting money out of him and though I have no proof, I would say they enjoyed our staying apart.
For the six years he sojourned in the UK, he neither called nor sent anything for the upkeep of the kids we had together.

On the occasions I called his immediate younger brother, he said little and when I invited him to come and see his nephews, he declined. When my eldest son was ill, I called him to come and see him at the hospital but he said I shouldn’t expect him to leave Port Harcourt for Asaba simply because his nephew was ill. It was at this point that I went ahead and accepted Dr. Greg’s invitation. Even though the doctor is married, I went ahead to have the affair that produced my third son. I understood family matters and so, I never visited his home.

Bob came back August last 2007 and when he came to see his kids, he realized we have moved on upwardly. We live in a bigger house and have better facilities and his children attend a better school. I told him that the little boy is also mine and that infuriated him. I wondered what he expected.

I was shocked that his uncles wanted us to reconcile, even his siblings since we were not properly divorced but my Dr. boyfriend kicked against it. I later bowed to pressure from my parents and we reconciled but ours to me is marriage only in name. Bob moved to Asaba but I cannot stand him touching me not to talk of having sex with him. I cannot have two sex partners at a time and I have found more fulfilment with Dr. Greg who builds me up rather than puts me down. We live together but that is all there is to it but my husband has decided he would not take another woman. I don’t like the development but my parents and friends think I am taking it too far. I wish it it one problem I would wish away but I cannot.

What if you are in my shoe what will you do? 

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