Older Men Dating or Marrying Younger Women: Advantages and Disadvantages

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As far back as anyone can remember older men have been dating younger women, although it was considered taboo and very controversial by the standards of society. These relationships are now becoming more common and socially acceptable.

Older men are no longer considered a “pervert” or “sugar daddy”. People don’t choose who they fall in love with, it just happens. Like any other relationship, if two people are totally committed to each other and their relationship, no matter what the age differences are, the relationship will work. In spite of this, these relationships have advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages for Older Men

Older men feel younger women have more energy, spontaneity, less dating baggage and are less serious. Although, the real reason is they enjoy having an attractive woman in their life.

Older men feel their sex life will be more adventurous with younger women.

Older men like younger women because they are still in their childbearing years.

Older men like dating younger women because they want to feel rejuvenated and youthful again.

An older man’s ego is boosted when he attends social functions with a younger woman (“eye candy”) on his arm. He also enjoys being admired by his peers.

Advantages for Younger Women

Younger women find dating older men exciting and fulfilling, if they are dating for the right reasons.

Mature, younger women, who are no longer interested in dealing with the games and attitudes of dating younger men, find older men are mature, and younger women appreciate older men’s life experiences.

Younger women find older men may be worldly, financially secure, and over many of the games they played in their younger years.

Erectile enhancing drugs such as Viagra have allowed many older men to continue an active sex life.

If a younger woman is ready to start a family, she feels older men might settle down sooner.

Disadvantages for Older Men

Younger women who tolerate older men for reasons other than love are more interested in their money, assets, power and security. If an older man loses his fortune or health, a younger woman will leave him quick.

There is a difference in the energy levels. If an older man doesn’t keep up with the younger woman, she might lose interest in him and look for a younger man.

While pursuing younger women, older men miss out on meeting a mature, wise, secure, appreciative women in her 50’s or older. An older woman would be better suited for an older man as a mate, who will stand by him as he goes through the aging process.

Older women are better lovers than younger women.

If the older man really loves the younger woman, when he gets sick does he want to burden her with having to care for him?

Disadvantages for Younger Women

Due to the difference in age, an older man may have medical conditions such as a stroke, heart attack or other health issues, and the younger woman might have to take care of him.

Before starting a family, the older man’s age should be considered when it comes to raising children. Will he still be around when they are growing up? Will he be too old to enjoy their children and help her raise them?

No matter what the age difference is in a relationship, people grow apart and relationships end. The older man the younger woman looked up to begins to become more insecure, possessive, demanding and needy, trying to get back the control he had on her and the relationship. Unsuccessful in doing this, he also pushes her away for good.

A younger woman may want to be more independent, depending on him less. She may also become angry about the power he has over her.

A younger woman is more likely to be dumped if she’s a trophy wife, being traded in for an even shinier trophy.

Disadvantages for Both

The average life expectancy for men is now 73.6 years compared to a life expectancy for women of 79.4 years, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. An age difference of 15 to 35 years early in a relationship may seem irrelevant, but over time the age difference can mean the younger woman will be nursing an ill or dying husband just when she’s in midlife and eager to be active.

An older man and younger woman in a relationship must be able to deal with the attitudes of others who stare, those who comment about the age difference, the negative attitudes of those who just disapprove, and the many other challenges they may be faced with.

The age difference can cause a big difference in interests of music, social activities, politics and morals. In addition, once the chemistry wears off, their interests grow apart.

Instead of verbal intimacy, sex may be a couple’s bond, but with age and illness, the man’s sexual performance may suffer. It is crucial for a couple to find other means of sexual pleasure and other common interests.
The end of life can be another means for intimacy. The couple accepts part of the deal of being of different generations is caring for each other, for better or for worse. Couples who deal with this burden are the ones who have bridged the age difference and meet in the middle, experiencing a new form of intimacy.


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