After seeing Pictures of a Scantily clad Seyi Shay, sitting close to her husband, President Goodluck Jonathan, surface online early this morning, Nigeria’s first Lady, Dame Patience Jonathan has gone on a verbal tirade expressing her anger and dismay at the untoward behavior of the Nigerian Songstress.
Seyi Shay, who was recently under fire by the Nigerian online community over comments she made regarding Amber Rose, was already feeling the brunt of Nigerians online this morning, as they criticized her choice of attire at the #MeetThePresident Gathering in Lagos recently.
However, that was nothing compared to the First Lady’s reaction on seeing pictures of the Singer sitting on a couch next to the President, wearing a skimpy purple gown.
In the First Lady’s words:
“What is strong with all this girls, ehn? WHAT IS STRONG WITH THEM? I CANNOT LEAVE MY HUSBAND FIVE MINUTES THAT SOMEBODY WILL WEAR SHORT GOWN AND OPEN LAP FOR EBELE TO LOOKING AT? HA! THEY WANT TO TAKE MY HUSBAND? THEY WANT TO BECOME FIRST LADY? IT CANNOT WORK O! NEVER!” “ANYBODY THAT SEE THAT GIRL SHOULD TELL HER SHE SHOULD NEVER GO NEAR MY HUSBAND AGAIN. OR ANY GOFMENT PERSON. IF SHE TRY IT, SHE WILL SEE MY RED EY! WARN HER O! HEEEY!”
We have tried to reach Seyi Shay, but she declined to comment.
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
An arrest warrant has been issued for Star Trek actor William Shatner, who is reported to have stolen the space shuttle Enterprise.
It is believed that Shatner carried out the audacious theft with a group of friends after claiming they just wanted to ‘look the old bird over’ before she was broken up.
NASA are reported to be incredulous about the crime, as the Enterprise was retired from service in 2012.
A spokesperson said, “We just don’t understand how they got her going. She’s a relic on a one-way trip to the scrap heap.”
“Quite simply, the engines cannae take it.”
“The only way they could get that old tub going again would be to steal parts from a nuclear vessel, and who has the ability to do that?” Shatner to search for Nimoy
Shatner and his crew – reported to comprise Nichelle Nichols, George Takei and Walter Koenig – are understood to believe that Leonard Nimoy will have been reborn on a new, Edenic alien world as suggested in a 1984 documentary.
When asked their course, shortly before passing out of radio range, Shatner is reported to have replied “Second star on the left, and straight on ’til morning.”
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
The rest of the country has told Manchester to get lost in a major new experiment in devolution.
Under the terms of a new deal, Manchester will get full control of budgets and the NHS in return for agreeing to pretend it doesn’t know the rest of the country.
“This is a great deal for both Manchester and the rest of the country,” said the chief executive of Liverpool council.
“They get a big pile of money and we get to act like we’ve never met.”
If the experiment is successful, other regions like Doncaster, Islington, Burnley and most of Wales also might be offered large sums so long as they don’t let the door hit them on the way out.
However, pro-devolution campaigners aren’t 100% confident, as it has been pointed out Scotland recently rejected a similar deal at the last minute when it became clear all the money they’d been promising themselves didn’t actually exist.
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
International football governing body FIFA says it will not pay compensation to Santa Claus and his associated enterprises, who are unhappy about plans to play the 2022 Qatar World Cup at Christmas.
The body has also refused to apologise for the scheduling of the tournament, which according to numerous commentators will disrupt the festive period immeasurably.
Fears have been raised that a winter World Cup would distract millions from observing the season’s traditional Christmas pursuits.
Football could distract people from worrying about the appropriate spend for your sister’s boyfriend’s gift, regrettable sexual encounters at the office party, and having an ever so slightly too-heated Christmas dinner table debate with a tipsy Auntie Jenny about immigration. World Cup 2022 at Christmas
A spokesman from the North Pole expressed his disappointment with the decision to hold the Qatar World Cup in the run up to Christmas.
They told reporters, “It’s not just a diversion from our own seasonal efforts, but the potential hazardous sleigh ride conditions caused by adding additional airline traffic to already busy flight paths over the Middle East at that time of year.”
When pressed for details on whether there might be repercussions from the Claus family, one source – who wished to remain anonymous as he adjusted his red nose – told us, “Let’s just say our Swiss naughty list has just grown considerably.”
“And that we hope Mr Blatter’s time in Qatar has given him an appreciation for fossil fuels. He’ll have more soon.”
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
Sky Sports subscribers have asked if the video of a couple having sex on the Charlton pitch will be included in their package.
Even though Charlton are no longer a premier league club, fans have said they would expect the coverage of a couple having sex at a Championship club to come before anything involving Leicester or Aston Villa.
Football fan Simon Williams told us, “I pay £30 a month to Sky Sports for hour upon hour of absolute bilge on pitches across the country.”
“Now that there’s something actually worth watching on an English pitch it had better bloody well be included in my package.”
“I don’t need all the Gary Neville analysis and the touchscreen nonsense, in fact I’d prefer it if his gurning mug didn’t appear at any stage in the proceedings.”
“If they try to fob me off again with something like West Ham v Crystal Palace I will not be happy.”
“Look, if Sky Sports can spend £4bn on rights to show the Premier League, they can pay a few grand to let me see a bit of reverse cowgirl.”
“Plus, you know, as a Sky customer it will be nice to see somebody else getting screwed for a change.”
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
Facebook has announced it is to spend $780bn (£467bn) acquiring the Catholic Church in a surprise move that will see the Papal office relocated to California.
The surprise deal, announced by Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg last night, will see an instant transfer of power from the Vatican to Facebook’s Californian offices when the sale goes through later this month.
In a statement, Zuckerberg described the Catholic Church’s services as “excellent value” and said the Church’s 1.2 billion members made it a “logical partner for further growth”.
Zuckerberg said: “After our success with acquisitions such as WhatsApp and Instagram, we realised the key to further growth is to find and buy those services whose users display the lowest capacity for independent thought.”
“If they happen to have strong brand loyalty, all the better. The catholic church opens up huge opportunities for us.” Facebook buys catholicism
The move will see the Pope reporting directly to 30-year-old Zuckerberg, while Vatican City will be dismantled and recreated on the outskirts of San Francisco.
The merger will also see the introduction of an online confession service, in which Catholic Church members will be able to admit to their sins from the comfort of their own homes.
Suggestions for penance will be provided by other users and then decided via an online voting forum, with an option to share your penance on Facebook.
The Pope said, “While it may come as a shock to many that the Catholic Church is still operating in many civilised western societies, we are pleased to align ourselves with Facebook and extend our influence through social media.”
“And if you ignore all the sodomy, San Francisco has many benefits over Rome,” he added.
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
Pandemonium broke out in the Mosafejo, Oshodi-Isale area of Lagos State, after rival groups said to be members of the National Union of Road Transport Workers, clashed on Tuesday evening and early Wednesday.
Four people were reportedly killed, while several others were injured in the fracas which was stopped after the intervention of security agencies.
PUNCH Metro gathered that no fewer than 15 commercial buses were set on fire, while 12 others were vandalised. Makeshift stalls in the Mosafejo Motor Park were also torched, leaving traders in the park mourning their losses.
When PUNCH Metro visited the scene of the incident on Wednesday, the atmosphere was still tense as men of the Nigeria Police Force and some soldiers were observed patrolling the area. The motor park, usually filled with vehicles, was deserted as the police armoured tanks and patrol vans took over the space.
Broken bottles, shards of glass from shattered windscreens and pebbles, said to have been deployed by some of the hoodlums during the fight, littered the road. Bloodstains dotted the Oshodi Roundabout, where a man was said to have been shot dead and his corpse taken away by the police. A vehicle was still burning as of 1pm when our correspondent passed the area.
Around the same time, a police van manned by police officers was observed by our correspondent taking some teenagers away A source told PUNCH Metro that the fight involved three groups ─ Big London boys, Railway boys and Under-bridge boys.
The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the fight started after the police ordered that there should be a stop in hemp smoking in the motor park.
The move was said to have been supported by the Big London boys, which brought them in conflict with the Railway and Under-bridge gangs who saw them as an ally of the police.
She said,:
“That was the beginning of the fight. The Railway boys and the Under-bridge boys usually conspire to wage war against the Big London boys which also had Olu Omo as a leading member.
Yesterday (Tuesday), the allied gangs struck again and killed four people. One particularly was popular here and we call him Afari. A man was shot in the eye, another in the hand and leg. Several others are in critical conditions in hospitals.”
Another witness, who did not identify herself, said one Idris was cut with machete in the buttocks, leg and hand.
“No one knows if he will survive the attack because his condition is critical,” she said.
When PUNCH Metro crossed over to the area where the Under-bridge and Railway groups had their camp, he met some of the men who alleged that the fight was sponsored by the Big London gang.
“It was around 11pm on Tuesday that they came here. They were many in the Big London group. They had the police backing them and they want to drive us away from here. They descended on our vehicles and set many of them ablaze which you can see for yourself.
They shot and injured three of our people, who have been rushed to hospital. We don’t know why they are after us and this fight could have been bloodier, but we decided to be calm,” a man in the group, who did not identify himself, said.
Another member of the group, who equally declined identification, showed our correspondent an injury he sustained in his hand.
He said, “They shot at so many of us. This was where I was shot. Those guys were many. They shot at about 100 of us and burnt many buses.”
Some of the traders, whose stalls were burnt, appealed for government’s intervention. Mrs. Taiwo Olajide, a mother of three and dealer in soft drinks, said she lost all her goods to the violence.
She said, “The hoodlums set fire on all the stalls in this park. They have ruined our business. This is where I feed my children and keep body and soul together.”
Another trader, Mrs. Josephine Eze, said all her provisions were burnt.
Our correspondent also observed a cross-section of traders who were seated in front of their shops, which were not affected by the fracas.
They lamented that they had not been able to operate their business since the area was cordoned off by the police.
The Police Public Relations Officer, Kenneth Nwosu, while confirming the incident, said one person was killed, adding that the police recovered some weapons from the hoodlums.
He said:
“There was an attempt to breach the peace at Oshodi. The hoodlums, who were rival members of the NURTW, engaged in a fight of supremacy over control of parks. In the process, about eight vehicles were burnt and 10 vandalised. One person was killed. Five cutlasses and four expended cartridges were recovered. Normalcy has been restored as adequate security has been made to avert any further breach of the peace.”
Nwosu added that the police arrested nine suspects in connection with the crime.
Meanwhile, the Chairman of the Lagos State Council of the NURTW, Alhaji Tajudeen Agbede, has said the union will unravel the cause of incessant violent clashes in Oshodi.
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
After the recent resurgence of activities against Boko Haram by the Nigerian Armed Forces and an onslaught on Sambisa Forest, for the first time in a very long while, Boko haram are on the defensive.
According to secret reports reaching our desk, the latest attack on Boko Haram positions left many terrorists dead, among them suspected men who were in line to be the next Shekau in the event of the death of the current Shekau.
As many Nigerians have rightfully speculated, Shekau is not just a person, but a title. The current holder of the title of Abubakar Shekau cried out to his fellow terrorists brothers in secret emails sent to Al Shabbab, Al Qaeda and ISIS, asking for help as his men were being decimated by Nigerian Armed Forces incursions.
In the leaked email, which was intercepted by wikileaks, the current Shekau said: “Please my brothers in arms, we need help urgently. The Army are not playing anymore! They raided my forest strong hold. I am running very low of arms, as they seized the small arsenal we had at Monguno. Worse, their latest attack resulted in the death of Ali ibn Hassan, Issiaq Abdulraheem, Ibrahim Daura and Audu Rano, who were all next in line to be the new Shekau in case i died in battle. Now we have only 2 extra Shekaus left. Please accord your brother succor!”
So far, the other terrorist groups have ignored Shekaus email. Al Shabab had previously decided to send all his mails to spam. They don’t exactly like Shekau.
Military intelligence agencies are currently trying to trace the origin of the email. More of this in subsequent bulletins. #MarchForOurTroops
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
Goodluck Jonathan is yet again stepping in for the youths and this time it’s for the recent ban of newly released movie – Fifty Shades of Grey.
Fifty shades of grey which was released on valentine day got movie lovers caught in the whole SMH act.
NFVCB denied reports that it was banned cause of the sex scenes as they banned it because a woman died after her husband attempted to try something new in the bed room shortly after the movie was watched.
But Goodluck Jonathan is having none of that as reported by his social media advisers. Quoting the President, “See, what kind of ROUGH PLAY is that? Why would they ban the movie? i have already promised Patience that we would see it together after my commissioning spree. They had better “unban” it and let me and my wife watch it”.
This was as reported by the social media adviser to the President.
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
Chelsea FC captain John Terry has stated his encouragement by the performance and future ‘huge potential’ of the club’s racist fans following their display on the Paris metro this week.
Chelsea could only manage a 1-1 draw in the first leg of their Champions League tie with Paris Saint Germain, but Terry was impressed with the form of a number of fans who appeared uninhibited in showcasing their talent for openly degrading ethnic minorities.
“The future looks as bright as ever for the club, particularly with some of the new lads coming through at the moment,” claimed Terry.
“I thought they showed huge potential. The more experienced heads such as myself obviously won’t be around for ever, and it’s fantastic to see the club’s traditions being picked up by the next generation.”
“It is strange to think of myself as an elder statesman in this game now, but all I can do is maintain my own personal form and pass on as much as possible to the new boys.” Chelsea’s new generation
Terry points to the Blues’ proud tradition of nurturing xenophobia amongst its supporters from an early age, and believes they are in a unique position to fly the flag for little Englanders everywhere.
“We’ve got great systems in place for spotting the right mentality, and at a club like Chelsea you know you’re always going to get a chance to express yourself.”
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
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