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UKIP leader and media catnip Nigel Farage was in hot water today after getting caught performing a ‘change of emphasis’ on a one-way street.
The frog-faced politico is expected to defend the charge in court as there’s bound to be at least one camera there.
Farage said “Look, it’s really simple; I was on a particular road going in a particular direction, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with tweaking one’s driving policy ever so slightly.”
“It was not a u-turn, let’s make that perfectly clear”.
However directions expert, Simon Williams said “It was a u-turn. Without question. That is the exact term one uses when someone turns around and goes in a different direction.”
“I’m happy to lend Farage a dictionary if he would like to check. It’s full of English words used by English people so I’m sure he’ll have a whale of a time with it.”
Farage U-Turn
Farage’s supporters have been quick to leap to his defence with the kind of blind faith one might expect of a terminally sick dog getting in the car to go for “a nice long walk”.
“It’s just media hype” said Barry Tomkins, “any time Farage does anything radical, honest or even just out loud, the newspapers are all over him like a rash.”
“It’s pathetic. He’s done nothing wrong.”
Traffic officer, Malcolm Davis, said “He has done something wrong. He nearly took out an entire school crossing patrol.”
“His driving style can only be described as reckless.”
UKIP MP Mark Reckless said “I resemble that. Or is it resent? I’m not sure. I’m going to borrow that dictionary once Nigel is done with it.”
Nigel Farage can avoid the three points on his license if he attends a court mandated self-awareness course.
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