Humour

Akwa Ibom New Stadium Is A waste Of Money” – APC …(MUST READ)

akwa-ibom-stadium

CWN: GOOD MORNING SIRS AND WELCOME TO THIS DEBATE. WE ARE GLAD BOTH OF YOU COULD MAKE IT

GEJ: Good Morning My Good man, General Buhari, and all esteemed readers of CWN

BUHARI: Good Morning Mr. President, esteemed Nigerians and you too, Mr. Moderator

CWN: LET US QUICKLY GO THROUGH THE MODALITIES OF THIS DEBATE. AFTER EACH QUESTION IS POSED, EACH PERSON IS ALLOWED 3 MINUTES TO STATE HIS POINT, BEFORE WE MOVE ON TO THE NEXT QUESTION

GEJ: I am okay with that

BUHARI: Insha Allah, This will be an eye opening debate for Nigerians

GEJ: Insha Allah too

BUHARI: Insha Allah what exactly, your excellency?

GEJ: Don’t worry…

CWN: SO! FIRST QUESTION – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR CHANCES IN THE FORTHCOMING ELECTIONS?

GEJ: I think my chances are good. Nigerians can attest to the fact that a lot of things have improved during my tenure…

BUHARI: Like Boko Haram…

GEJ: …..like Fuel availability, Good Roads, Economic improvement, rebasing our GDP, Power situation…

BUHARI: ….I had to Iron my shirt with Generator before I came here…

GEJ: General will you please allow me finish?

CWN: GENERAL BUHARI PLEASE….

GEJ: As I was saying, many things have improved. If things had not improved, America Will Know, Trustme. Our Chances are good

CWN: AND YOU GENERAL BUHARI, WHAT ARE YOUR PARTY’S CHANCES LOOKING LIKE?

BUHARI: They look even better! Nigerians are tired of the corruption and stagnation under the PDP Governments. The World has left us behind in everything…

GEJ: Until I brought Facebook to Nigeria…

BUHARI: NO you did not bring Facebook to Nigeria Your Excellency!

GEJ: Yes I did. Same way Obasanjo brought GSM to Nigeria.

BUHARI: What? What’s your proof? Who do we ask?

GEJ: America. They Will Know.

BUHARI: Ya Allah….

CWN: PLEASE YOUR EXCELLENCY. LET HIM FINISH

BUHARI: Thank You Mr Moderator. Look at all the APC States for example. Giant Strides have been made. Look at Lagos, look at the monorail project, look at the planting of….uhm….flowers

GEJ: Don’t forget Amaechi’s own Monorail too

BUHARI: Can we please not bring that up?

GEJ: Lol why not?

BUHARI: Just don’t bring it up your excel….

GEJ: Well, I have something else to bring up. The Magnificent Akwa Ibom Stadium

CWN: YES YOUR EXCELLENCIES. LET US TALK ABOUT THAT

BUHARI: It was totally Unneccessary and a waste of money…

GEJ: Because it was a PDP Governor who built it abi?

BUHARI: No….Because……..Because……..

PATIENCE JONATHAN: Because of what nah, Genarah??

CWN: WHAT ON EARTH…

BUHARI: HOW DID SHE GET IN HERE?

GEJ: Faka, what are you doing here?

PATIENCE JONATHAN: I was cooking in Kischen, I just hearing what Generah said, all this criticize they are sharing on my Husband, Diarisgod oo, Diaris….

BUHARI: Somebody make her stop please…

GEJ: Oya Faka we have heard go and continue what you are doing….

CWN: FIRST LADY PLEASE IF YOU DON’T MIND

PATIENCE JONATHAN: But why is you people pursuing me and you not pursue Atiku?

BUHARI: Ati-who?

ATIKU: *crawls out from Behind chair* Dan Iska. This woman just can’t keep quiet.

GEJ: Ahn Ahn, when did you enter here?

CWN: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD……..PLEASE BOTH OF YOU LEAVE. THANK YOU. NOW BACK TO OUR DEBATE

GEJ: There is really nothing to debate about anymore. Nigerians, vote me in and I will build new stadiums in all 6 Ge0-Political zones

BUHARI: Deal with Boko Haram first

GEJ: How sure are we you aren’t their sponsor?

BUHARI: Are you falsely accusing me of…

GEJ: Are you or are you not?

BUHARI: How da…..

CWN: OKAY YOUR EXCELLENCIES I THINK THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME…….ATIKU AND PATIENCE YOU TOO.

ATIKU: You’re welcome

PATIENCE JONATHAN: Atiku na only you waka come?

ATIKU: Na only me drive come actually.

PATIENCE JONATHAN: Diarisgod. Okay settle down, the Food have done

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Anthony-Claret Onwutalobi
Anthony-Claret Onwutalobi
Anthony-Claret is a software Engineer, entrepreneur and the founder of Codewit INC and CEO of Portia Web Solutions. Mr. Claret publishes and manages the content on Codewit Word News website and associated websites. He's a writer, IT Expert, great administrator, technology enthusiast, social media lover and all around digital guy.
https://www.codewit.com

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