Humour

Bangalore. In a shocking development, security guard Bhagwan Singh who is working in Infosys Electronics city office, collapsed today morning while doing his regular duty of frisking employees at the north gate. When he was being taken to nearby Narayan Health center, he recovered after getting sufficient clean oxygen on the way. Faking news reporter […]

Terrorist vandals ISIS have received a request to leave the world’s beautiful and ancient cities alone, and focus on the hideous modern town of Northampton instead. Northampton Council worker, Mark Scales said, “Seriously, fill your boots.” “We’ll all nip out to Kettering for the day and you can smash the shit out of whatever takes […]

Vladimir Putin’s faithful Rottweiler Nikita has triumphed at Crufts amid suspicious circumstances. Irish setter Benji was expected to sail to victory at the weekend, but pulled out at short notice after shitting the carpet. The glossy-coated six year-old was later found dead by its owner, Simon Williams, next to a suspicious looking tin of Cesar […]

Criminals across the country have reluctantly agreed to commit fewer crimes to ease the pressure on police forces facing severe cuts to their budgets. Police forces are facing a 5% cut in government funding in 2015/16 and more cuts after the general election, with similar reductions now demanded of criminals. A police spokesperson said, “If […]

Scenes of commotion pervaded the entire Ado-Ekiti this morning after Ekiti State Governor, Ago Fayose, fainted during a PDP rally, allegedly after hearing of General Buhari’s return. Eye witnesses say Fayose was dancing on stage in full campaign flow, when he received a phone call. The person on the other end of the line said […]

The European Union has confirmed that it will print over a trillion Euros over the next two years and you won’t see a penny of it. The process, called ‘quantitative easing’, will buy Eurozone bonds back from the open market, and you don’t own any of those, do you? “This is what is known as […]

George Osborne has joined the debate surrounding the shocking state of commuter services in the south of England by telling commuters to start their own train firms. “I recognise that there are difficulties on some of the commuter services into London,” Osborne said from the back of his tax-payer funded chauffeur-driven Jaguar. “But this is […]

UKIP leader and media catnip Nigel Farage was in hot water today after getting caught performing a ‘change of emphasis’ on a one-way street. The frog-faced politico is expected to defend the charge in court as there’s bound to be at least one camera there. Farage said “Look, it’s really simple; I was on a […]

Chaos ensued in a popular bar along Obalande area of Lagos yesterday, after a young man drank his 3rd bottle of Guinness aka Small stout and was immediately transformed. According to eye witnesses, the middle aged light skinned man was drinking his bottles of Guinness quietly, while taking his third bottle of the small stout, […]

Women have said that in the age of equality, they should be able to die as prematurely as any man. Many have insisted that in the year 2015 it is disgraceful that men are allowed to die younger than women just because they are male. Woman Sharon Jones told us “Just because I’m a woman […]